The most interesting short stories from the web this week. Short stories, funny and interesting from real people's lives

Interesting short funny stories from people’s lives are exactly what will always be in demand among readers. Any person loves to laugh at what happened in the life of another. Funny stories can cheer you up at any time of the day. It is known that what was taken from life will be fun for many years to come. And laughter, as you know, prolongs life!

Holidays with friends already involve telling all sorts of funny stories. Many of these gatherings end up on the Internet. If you want to read a collection of very funny life stories, welcome to our website!

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Comic situations occur at every step, and there is nothing terrible if someone else finds out about them. The funny stories on our site will not leave anyone indifferent who stops their attention on the page with interesting stories. You can find any story to suit your taste, because we only have the best and funniest cases that happened in real life!

Join the number of our readers! Laughter therapy is guaranteed! Tell your friends and colleagues funny stories and laugh at them together. Collective laughter is definitely a viral and very contagious thing! =)

As a child, I really loved leaning on the lid of the secretary. My mother scolded me very much for this, because on top of the secretary there was a beautiful tea set brought by my grandmother from Ashgabat. And then one day, while doing homework, I once again leaned on my elbow. There was a terrible roar. My grandmother rushed in, saw the broken set, grabbed me in her arms and ran outside. And only below did she come to her senses that she was in Leningrad, and there was no earthquake here. Oh, and it hit me then! And in the evening my mother added...

I am a very calm person who rarely raises my voice. But there is one way that makes me scream - mirrors in a closed room from which there is no exit. My boyfriend decided to play a trick on me somehow, to make sure that I could raise my voice too. One fine morning I woke up in a locked room with a dozen rather large mirrors. He found me two hours later under the table in hysterics, the nightmares did not leave me for several more months. The guy is gone.

I work in a cinema for two. Couples in love usually come. Romance, films, delicious food, wine, kisses... But how infuriating are those who cross the line of kisses and take things to the horizontal plane. There is a camera, an announcement at the entrance, and we tell guests this too, but it’s a pity that not everyone gets it.

My husband and I decided to take a serious step - adopt a child. The daughter of our distant relatives, there was a fire in the house, she was the only one saved. At first she was silent all the time, then she began to speak occasionally. But in two years this has not progressed further. I dreamed that we would replace her family, but she is still as cold. I don’t blame anyone, but this makes me so sad.

I recently cheated on my husband because he’s a fucking workaholic, and we last had sex a year and a half ago. I love him very much, but I couldn’t stand it. I went to the city to visit a friend, went to a club and slept with a guy whose name I don’t even know. He fucked the soul out of me, and I returned home happy, to which my husband suggested going to see her more often. On the one hand, I finally felt like a desirable girl, but on the other hand, the cats were scratching at my soul.

Grandmother and grandfather met in the park when grandmother, headlong, ran home, shielding herself from the pouring rain with her hands. She accidentally bumped into him, knocking him off his feet. Mom and Dad found out about each other at a school disco, when Mom accidentally collided with Dad, knocking him to the floor, falling on top of him to the tune of a slow song. And I found my love in the trash when, without looking, I threw a bag of garbage into a barrel, and accidentally hit the guy, knocking him down and dropping him straight into the trash. But I found it.

Half a year ago I was hit by a car. As a result, a spinal injury and a wheelchair. My husband supported me as best he could and blew away specks of dust. Recently, doctors said that I can undergo surgery, there is a 50/50 chance that I will be able to walk again, but the condition may worsen. My husband, with tears in his eyes, begged me not to take such risks, he would take care of me. I really started to fear interference. And then my tablet broke, I took my husband’s laptop and found a bunch of porn with disabled people. I'll have surgery soon.

I have a strange mania for inventing dialogues for various pieces of furniture. So I was sitting in line at the clinic, a woman was pulling the handle of the office, the door was closed, and I immediately imagined a dialogue between two doors: - Oh, why are you pulling, you’ll tear it off! Don't you see? Closed! No, did you see it? She's pulling here! Let me wipe off the polish on my hand! - Hmmm, people have gone! They either kick or clap. My mother told me, go to paper...

I often select music for performances. This is a labor-intensive process, you can sit for several days and listen, listen, listen, until notes slip through the pile of music, which begins to seem the same, that catch you. And how many incredible melodies found along the way are now in my piggy bank and waiting in the wings! I want to have the opportunity to show all the images that this music paints.

I have a scar on my tongue from teeth. According to my parents, when I was two years old, I was sitting on a chair, and my older brother pushed him, I fell, hit my head on the radiator and bit my tongue. My parents thought it would heal, so they didn’t stitch it up. As a child, a friend called this scar a pocket, because a piece of skin can be pushed away with your teeth and you can see the indentation. The expression on the faces of the people to whom I tell this story and in conclusion I stick my tongue out is priceless!

My grandmother is 84. She has beautiful makeup, hair, a dress and heels. She has a husband who is 17 years younger, who loves her madly. She runs on the treadmill on the balcony in the morning, cooks like crazy, sings great and sews amazing clothes to order. And I just want to be like her, at least at 70 years old, and not just at 80 and a half!

No matter how many times I meet people, every time I manage to ruin their attitude towards myself with amazing skill. Because... Apparently, I don’t understand the personal side of each person. A careless action or word - the relationship becomes strained, and they themselves become like strangers. I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen this in my life. People with whom, it seemed, he could communicate about anything and constantly, now barely exchange a few phrases...

They have diagnosed a heart defect and need to fly for surgery. And then a friend says that it is expensive to deliver the body, and many people bring the ashes back in urns. The positivity disappeared, I saw my husband looking for delivery of the body. She said as if she spat... I feel sorry for my loved ones - they are worried, and I myself became scared. We are realists, but here it’s hard and scary.

In life I am a gray mouse. But after sex I become more beautiful. The eyes shine, the lips become slightly plump and bright, the skin becomes beautifully pale, the cheeks are rosy. I even learned how to use it: if I had to attend an event, I made love before it, it helped more than makeup. The only thing I didn’t take into account was that this feature was noticed not only by me, but also by my beloved husband. My former beloved husband, who burned my beautiful me after work.

I moved into the apartment where my friends had lived before. From their stories: they fucked on the table and made as much noise as possible, for which all their neighbors hated them. On the first evening, around 10, I decided to move the closet a little. Five minutes later, all the grandmothers in the world came out, shouting that I was a whore and organizing orgies, and another half hour later two policemen arrived. When they saw me in my pajamas and my cat, who had shit himself from knocking on the door, they apologized for a long time, and then for another half an hour they reprimanded the neighbors on the stairs.

I never liked visiting my grandmother. The whole family came once a year for a couple of days, and the trash started. A drinking session with moonshine and a fight, in which my grandmother and her sons took part, and after that she tried to educate 7-9-year-old me about sex in all the nasty details. In the next argument, when she lifted her skirt and showed where to go, I found out that she wasn’t wearing underwear either. It’s a pity that I didn’t recognize the other grandmother - she died when I was one year old(

I recently came across a series about Katya Pushkareva. My God, then her image seemed terrible, but today she’s downright trendy, but everyone who was in style looks like a moron. What a strange thing fashion is!

When the war began, my grandfather went to the front, and my grandmother and her four-year-old daughter were evacuated. Life was hard, there was not enough food, my daughter was very sick. Grandmother was a beauty, and an officer of high rank looked after her, bringing her stew, butter, chocolate. And she gave in. The girl recovered quickly on good nutrition. When my grandfather returned from the war, my grandmother immediately confessed to him. He smoked, paused and said: “Thank you for saving your daughter.” They lived together for 55 years, and he never reproached her with a word.

I can't stand cash coins. Seeing them immediately makes you sick. As a child, I had a habit of collecting small change around the house and stuffing it into my mouth. Years have passed, the habit has gone, but only now I understand that it was disgusting.

I hate this spring, because it’s impossible to look down at the phone normally! You get into a minibus after the street, bend over the phone, and snot flows down so treacherously...

For a long time in the office I picked out huge boogers and sculpted them at the table. I kept thinking that I would clean it up later. While I was on vacation, we moved to another office, and the boss sat there. It's a shame to go back to work

As a child, I was afraid of old people because it seemed to me that they would steal my youth in order to prolong their life. And because I was a sweet child, they often took me on their laps in crowded transport. Minutes of horror.

My husband works for an agricultural company - he plows fields and transports crops. At work he drives a tractor, and when we get bored at home, he asks: “What is 150+150?” I say: “300,” and go to suck the tractor driver)

Before every flight, of which there are not many, I set a status from the series “life is so short” or make a post with the song “If I die young”. If I suddenly die in a plane crash, then everyone will come to my page and think that I had a presentiment of my death. I suffer from aerophobia.

Since childhood, my dad beat me and tormented me mentally until I left home. Now I live abroad and communicate occasionally via messenger. Once, while telling him a story, I swore. Dad was absolutely blown away by the fact that I didn’t respect him because I “sweared in front of him.” And that if I continue to swear, he will stop communicating with me. And I really thought about the fact that I don’t respect him and that if he stops communicating with me, I won’t be very upset.

I recently heard from friends whose baby is a month old, that it’s time to baptize the baby. She casually asked whether they had read the Bible (no); Do they even know “Our Father” (also no); What time was Jesus baptized and was he even baptized? The last question left them stumped. Then I asked why such a baby should be baptized. The answer was brilliant: “Well, wow, we seem to be Orthodox...” Orthodox, who didn’t even hold the Bible in their hands, but wear a cross as an ornament. It's annoying!

Grandma always scolds me when she sees HOW I peel potatoes. He says that during the war, my cleaning could feed the entire village.

I was returning home from the store. My five-year-old daughter ran into the elevator, and I was dragging my bags behind. And then someone calls the elevator, I don’t have time. The doors close and I hear my daughter screaming as she drives up. I throw my bags, rush around the floors, trying to figure out where the scream is coming from. Made it to seventh. You should have seen the face of the man who was waiting for the elevator. When the doors opened, in front of him stood a little angry girl, crying, who ran into him, yelling in the bass voice of a healthy man: “Where is my mother?! Answer!”

I identify men by their butts. Round, plump butts or loose hips, more like a woman's, - most likely, he is lazy, and he may also be cunning or a mama's boy. How many times has it coincided!

I started dating a 19-year-old girl who smokes, drinks and doesn’t mind earning extra money for a blowjob. He wanted to put her on the right path, moved in with her, got a better-paying job to support her and her mother. As a result, over the course of three years I almost became a drunkard myself, and they wanted to imprison me twice. He left and left. Fuck such charity. Occasionally we communicate as friends. I don’t regret my action, I don’t plan to repeat it. I don’t drink at all, I’m 27.

Why haven't I watched Terminator...

This was somewhere in the early to mid 90s.

I lived with my grandmother then and I was 5-6 years old.

The Terminator (part 1) was supposed to be shown on TV, but it was shown quite late, around 10-11 pm.

I sat waiting for the film for a long time, periodically getting stuck. But then my grandmother came into the room and said that it was broadcast on the radio that the actor was ill and there would be no film, and I went to bed saddened.

It took me a while to discover the deception...

This Toyota of yours is crap!

From one forum.

xxx: Yes, this Toyota of yours is crap!!! I used to have an Opel - I didn’t even know about the services! And now I take my Toyota to service every couple of months!!!

3 pages of shit Opel vs Toyota

uuu: Okay, people, stop, that's enough! And you, xxx, don’t forget that you used to have a husband who drove your Opel for service, and now you’re divorced!

About jokes on the topic

My grandfather told me this incident. He got a job as a security chief at a large energy company. Someone whispered to him that the woman from the HR department was very fond of jokes, so this is the one he told her:

“Scientists have discovered a new terrible disease that is spreading quickly. Research has shown that to prevent an epidemic, a medicine made from monkey eggs is needed. They called Vasily Ivanovich and explained the task:

You need to prepare monkey eggs, tell me what you need for this?

More alcohol, Petka and the dog Zhuchka.

They selected everything and drove off to Africa. A week later, half of the order arrives. Everyone was surprised at such efficiency and decided to send a commission to take a look. We arrived and looked: Vasily Ivanovich was sleeping, Petka was sleeping, Zhuchka was snoring, half the alcohol was gone. They woke everyone up and asked to see their work. Chapai:

Petka, picture it!

Petka poured some alcohol from the tank into a mug, smeared it, and climbed up the tree. He crept up to the monkey and breathed on it. The monkey could not resist and flew down. The bug ran up to her, nibbled off the eggs and put them in a box. Here someone from the commission says:

Petka is working, Zhuchka is working, alcohol is being consumed, and Vasily Ivanovich is sitting, doing nothing, there is no order!

Vasily Ivanovich:

Me, for safety reasons. Petka, picture it!

Petka gurgled more alcohol, crept up to the gorilla, and breathed the fumes on it. The gorilla went crazy, swayed on the tree, but held on until it hit Petka between the eyes. Petka flies down and yells:

Vasily Ivanovich - hold the Bug!

She says she laughed a lot and took him to work :)

Disarming simplicity.

One of my good friends works as an English teacher in Moscow. Further from his words.

I have been working at the school for the second year now, with one and a half pay per subject, plus the pay as a GPA teacher (extended day group). This rate adds 7-8 thousand rubles to the salary. and the point is that you need to sit with some kids from elementary school after school.

The other day, the headmistress calls me to her place and pleases me with the news that the GPD rate is being taken away from me and given to a certain Vera Ivanovna, because she (Vera Ivanovna) is an honored worker in education, has been at school for seventeen years, and her granddaughter recently entered a university, with health problems problems, and it turns out that she needs this rate more than I do. Well, I decided not to start a conflict, of course I’m sorry for the money, but I’ll have free time.

And now I’m sitting at home, after work, drinking tea. There were no signs of trouble.... The headmistress called.

D-director.

D: - Anonymous Anonymich, why aren’t you at your workplace?! (voice is full of righteous anger)

Me: - So I don’t have any more lessons for today, I’m already at home.

D: -And the GPA?!!

Me: - So you gave it to Vera Ivanovna, didn’t you?

D: - Yes, Vera Ivanovna, but should she really sit here as a third-grader until the evening?!! You have no conscience!

THROUGH THE MOUTH OF A CLIMBING BABY.

Evening. Half empty minibus. In the salon, a little girl tells her mother:

Now, if I find a genie, I will make two wishes, and on the third I will make him crawl back into the lamp, so that I can then pull him out again and I will again have three wishes. And I will definitely wish you to drive a car.

Daughter, mom already has rights.

No, I will wish that you drive normally.

Bonus humor in pictures

Well, a little romance

1. Today I heard one of my colleagues making fun of another because he goes to work by public transport rather than by private car. And a little later I heard how the same colleague asked his creditor for a deferment.

2. Today I told my patient that her son would be born with a deformed left arm, she thought for a minute, and then said: “I knew he would be special.”

3. Today a woman I know told me how much she suffered when her daughter died in a car accident. She could not recover from grief for a very long time, her life stopped, she constantly mourned her. And one night she dreamed of a little girl. She was carrying two huge buckets. It was immediately obvious that it was very difficult for her. Every step was given to her with great difficulty. My friend asked the girl: “What are you talking about?”, and she answered her: “These are your tears, mom.” From that day on, she pulled herself together and did not cry anymore.

4. Today in the store I saw a girl about eight years old. She was talking to the dog, petting it and smiling. Her parents stood aside. They, holding hands, watched her and it was clear from their faces that they were happy. A little later I found out that their daughter has autism and this was the first time they heard her speak in complete sentences.

5. Today, when I was crying because my boyfriend left me, my grandmother patted me on the shoulder and said: “Everything changes, but the sun always rises the next day. The bad news is that nothing is permanent, the good news is the same.”

6. Today, stopped in my car at a traffic light, I listened to the melody sounding from the speakers, and began to drum to the beat in the air, as if there was a drum kit in front of me. Suddenly I noticed that a girl from a nearby car was watching me. I was embarrassed and was about to look away, when suddenly I saw that she smiled and began to play the air guitar. We continued playing together and then the light turned green and our jam session was over.

7. Today, after five years of marriage, I finally decided to tell my husband where the scars on my wrists come from. In response, he smiled, showed me his same scars and said: “I understand everything. I love you.” Our love saved us.

8. Today I realized that for the last five years I have been thinking only about myself. And now that she's gone, all I can think about is her.

9. Today my 4-year-old son asked me to play dinosaurs with him. And when I agreed, he was very surprised and to my horror I realized that he was expecting to hear “no”.

10. Today, a girl I know, with whom I have been in love for the last five years, asked me for advice on whether she should break up with her boyfriend. I said that she should stay with him because he cares about her and they love each other.