Surely, many have heard the expression that “thoughts are material.” Also, more than once you may have noticed that when something very bad happens, a participant in the unpleasant events often exclaims: “I knew it would happen like this!” This does not at all mean that a person experiencing troubles is a visionary - he simply “attracted” failures to himself with his negative thinking. How does it work?

Positive thinking, what is its essence

The essence of such thinking is not to not focus on failures and minor problems, but to see something good in any negative situation. Facing adversity in a positive way thinking people immediately identify the positive aspects for themselves. Betrayed by a comrade? It’s good that this did not happen in a more serious situation, and his essence was revealed right now. Got fired? Well, now you have a chance to find a place that will suit you much more. There can be many such examples. Of course, not every dramatic story has a positive aspect, but most of them have one.

How to Develop the Habit of Positive Thinking

1) Environment. Try to communicate with successful people who have achieved a lot, look at life easily and with humor, being an example for you. You should also exclude friends who “drag you down” - provoke negative thoughts, belittle your successes, and the like. 2) Control yourself. As soon as you feel that a negative thought has entered your head, immediately stop its spread. Have a quarrel with a loved one? Put yourself in his place, think about why you have such different views that it has come to a conflict. Bring him out for a heart-to-heart talk and solve the problem. If you quarreled with a fellow passenger on the bus or a saleswoman, it’s not worth thinking about at all. This man was in bad mood or it so happened that he is embittered at the world in itself, and this has nothing to do with you. 3) Look at the situation from the outside. Perhaps you often overestimate the scale of the problem, and in fact everything is not so bad? How would you characterize the situation from the outside if you were not involved in it? 4) The “but” principle. Whatever failure happens to you, mentally add the word “but” to its description and continue the thought. Perhaps a sequel will immediately come to mind, the path may even be funny, or perhaps you will have to try. For example: “Because of traffic jams, I didn’t get to the interview, but now I’ll have a cup of delicious coffee,” “I found out about my wife’s infidelity, but today the weather is very good,” “I caught a cold, but I have a trip planned for next month.” As you can see, continuations can be completely ridiculous and seemingly inappropriate, but still this principle often allows you to control yourself at critical moments.

Learn to think and live positively

Don't set yourself up for failure, think about what you are on the right track and you will certainly be lucky. Mentally praise yourself, remember your past achievements, convince yourself of the correctness of your decision. Think about what can set you in the right mood. For many, this factor is music - listen to your favorite compositions, dance, watch comedies. In general, do everything that can improve your day. Even if some trouble happens to you, stop looking for those to blame or engaging in self-flagellation. An optimist in this case will think: “Well, this could happen to anyone, next time it will be better!” Laugh and smile more often. Does it seem like there is no reason for this? So find it, and even if it is the simplest thing - a comedy film in the cinema, a concert of a great band, games with a cat, etc. Plan interesting events, trips, and carry them out by checking the boxes next to certain items. Don’t put off until “someday” things that can please you now.

10 tips on how to learn to think positively in any difficulty

So, by putting these tips into practice, you will attract success to yourself and significantly improve the quality of your life.

We look for advantages and benefit for ourselves

Use settings. These are the words that you should mentally pronounce when starting any task. Think: “I will succeed”, “I will certainly be lucky”, “I deserve it!”, “I’m doing great!” etc. Visualize your success. If you want to achieve something, then imagine that your plan has already come true. Imagine again and again how you achieve your goal, what emotions you experience, how your life changes. Get rid of fear. If you understand that you absolutely need to do something, but your fear is a barrier, do everything possible to get rid of it. Remember that it is enough to take the first step, and things will move forward. Let yourself take this step, and think about fear later. Don't worry about trifles. We often worry about situations that may never happen or have virtually no impact on our lives. Accept that there is a lot of injustice in this world, and your goal is not to let all this negativity pass through you, because, undoubtedly, you have more interesting things to do! Keep a record of your achievements. Buy a beautiful notebook and write down in it every day any little thing that has affected you. good impression– there is no need to write down anything neutral or negative. It doesn’t matter what the conversation is about - you drank a cup of aromatic tea or your salary was increased. Re-read your notes periodically. Thank your fate more often. Often we complain about the unfairness of life, not paying attention to the gifts it sends us. Be careful, notice all the good things that happen to you. Avoid negativity. We can talk about both situations and people. Try to communicate as little as possible with those who upset you or cause conflict. If possible, it is better to exclude such contacts altogether. Love yourself. Give yourself nice gifts, take care of your appearance, pamper yourself with goodies, visit interesting places. Learn to see the positive sides. Let it be a very small plus, but more often think about this plus, and not about the losses. Be gentle with yourself. Often we are very strict with ourselves or try to fit into someone else's established framework. Realize that you, like any other person, have the right to laziness, losses, fatigue, and bad mood. Forgive your momentary weaknesses and think more often about your positive sides.

Only positive thoughts attract success

You've probably noticed people who are constantly unlucky, and they are already so used to it that they take it for granted, without thinking about the fact that they themselves attract problems to themselves. Negative thinking can be “material” and lead to already expected problems. The situation is exactly the same with positive thinking - the harder you program yourself for success, the more likely it is that luck will actually smile on you. Don’t focus on what you lost or what disappointed or offended you. Such thoughts can lead to depression - think about the good things you have.

Chat with dear people that give you positive emotions. One evening in the company of a good friend or mother, having a meal and discussing topics that interest you, can “charge” you for the week ahead. Charge yourself with positive emotions from others. The easiest way to do this is by providing such a mood loved one. Give pleasant surprises and gifts for no reason, and you will be guaranteed a charge of positive energy!

Psychology about the connection between thinking and physical health

Once upon a time it was open interesting fact: our mental feelings and physical health have a direct connection with the emotions that we pass through ourselves throughout life. That is, the more positive moments we experience, the better our well-being will be in all aspects! negative points try to use life for your benefit. Set yourself this challenge: whenever you encounter an unexpected difficulty that cannot be ignored, you will make the most of it for yourself. Let it be even a simple life lesson. You've probably noticed that children have a much simpler approach to life, and, for example, the frustration of a scratched knee can be instantly eliminated with a pack of ice cream or a chocolate bar. The thing is that children know how to enjoy little things, and what’s more - little things can bring them real delight! Is the weather nice outside? Can I go on the swings? Rain? You can splash around in the puddles! And so on. We, for the most part, not only do not attach importance to the little things, but also do not pay attention to the significant advantages! Communicate with children more often and notice their attitude to life - many adults have a lot to learn from kids and schoolchildren! There is another psychological trick that will help you become a real optimist. Think more often about your successes in the present tense, fix them in your mind: “I fry amazing eggs!”, “I do an excellent job fulfilling the order!”, “I look great today!”, “This color really suits me.” The faster you realize that you yourself are the creator of your mood, and your success depends on how you “tune” yourself, the faster you will notice positive changes in life!

We all think; for us it is absolutely natural. The question, however, is how to learn to think better. Yes, it will take time, you will have to constantly practice, and there is no limit to perfection - but isn’t it amazing? A sharp mind and ability to think will be very useful to you!

Steps

Part 1

Different Ways of Thinking

Eat different types thinking. There is no single correct way of thinking that would be more effective than all others. To learn to think better yourself, you need to understand how you can think in general and how others manage to think.

• Learn to think conceptually. Or, more simply put, learn to identify patterns and connections between abstract ideas, which you will then link into one big picture. For example, this kind of thinking comes in handy during a chess session - by looking at the board, you will recognize the tactics your opponent is playing and can use counter-tactics.
• Learn to think intuitively. Yes, you also need to listen to your intuition. The brain sometimes processes much more than we can understand - this, in fact, is our intuition. For example, you are a girl who for some reason really doesn’t want to go on a date with a guy who seems nice. Later it turns out that this was the right decision - the guy turned out to be a maniac. What saved you? The brain that picked up some signals that you could not analyze consciously... in other words, intuition!

1. Learn the five thinking styles. The book “The Art of Thinking” (Harrison and Bramson) identifies five main types of thinking: synthetic, idealistic, pragmatic, analytical and realistic. Once you understand what suits you best, you will be able to think better. You can use one or several styles at once, but the more, the better.

   • Synthetic thinkers love conflicts (and are generally crazy about playing the “devil’s advocate”), they often ask “what if” questions. Such conflicts fuel their creativity and often allow them to see the whole situation.
   • Idealists more often see the whole situation at once, rather than any individual component. Idealistic thinkers people are more interesting and out of emotion rather than facts and figures, they also like to think about the future and make plans for it.
   • Pragmatists are those who prefer “what works.” They know how to think quickly, are excellent at planning for the short term, are quite creative and know how to adapt to change. Sometimes they are even capable of impromptu.
   • Analysts break down all problems and situations into smaller components; they are not comfortable working with the entire situation as a whole. Analysts love lists and details, and they respect order.
   • Realists are alien to delusional fantasies. They know how to ask difficult questions and do what is required to resolve the situation. They can keep both the problem and the solutions under control, and also do not lose sight of their own limits of what is possible. Most people have realistic thinking, by the way.

2. Think divergently, not convergently! The latter, if in general, is when there are only two options - white and black, good and bad, we and enemies. Divergent thinking allows for a much wider range of possibilities and options.

   • To learn to think divergently, when faced with new people or situations, you need to pay attention to how you perceive it. Are you using only a limited set of options in this (for example, he doesn't want to go out with me - he hates me; he wants to go out with me - he likes me)? Do you often use “either-or” phrases? If you catch yourself thinking this way, stop and think, are these all the options you have? As a rule, there are significantly more options.
   • Convergent thinking is not always bad. In mathematics, for example, it is simply necessary... but in life its relevance is still very limited.

3. Learn to think critically. Critical thinking is an objective analysis of a situation or information by obtaining additional facts and information from third-party sources, on the basis of which you analyze primary information.

   • In general, critical thinking is when you do not accept something for granted without first understanding the issue yourself.
   • However, you will need to understand your own prejudices and prejudices, and then try to overcome all of this in order to begin to look at the world... more objectively.

   Part 2

   Understanding the basics of thinking

   1. Challenge assumptions. To become a truly effective thinker, you need to learn to challenge and doubt your own assumptions. Your way of thinking is a product of the environment in which you grew up, and you need to think very carefully about whether it is productive and useful.

      Become a curious person! Great thinkers are perhaps the most curious people. They asked themselves questions about the world around them and looked for answers to these questions.

      • Ask people questions about themselves. There is no need to be intrusive, but if you have met someone, then questions like “where from” or “who is their profession” will not hurt. People love to talk about themselves, and you can learn a lot of interesting things that you would never know if you didn't ask questions.
      • See the world through the eyes of a curious child. Are you traveling by plane? Think about how a multi-ton colossus made of steel can fly, how it stays in the air, learn about the history of aircraft construction (don’t just read about the Wright brothers).
      • If you get the opportunity, go to museums - they are free at least once a month, to libraries and any other places where educational events are held.

   2. Look for the “truth”. True, there is one small difficulty here. You see, there is no one common “truth” for everyone - there are many small “truths” that everyone has their own. However, the ability to search for the truth in all areas human life It will be useful to you, and it will improve your thinking ability.

      Look for creative solutions. Creativity is a great way to develop a great thinker within yourself. Creative thinking will teach you to respond creatively to unusual problems, no matter where they strike you.

   3. Collect information. By the way, it would be nice to know how to get information from reliable sources - you understand, these days there is a lot of information garbage, which sometimes seems very convincing. Accordingly, you need to be able to distinguish soft from warm... that is, a reliable source of information from a not very reliable one.

      • Libraries are good. No, this is even wonderful! Not only are there a lot of free books (and sometimes other media content), but they also sometimes host various events. Librarians can answer your questions.
      • Libraries also store local publications, from which you can learn a lot about your city.
      • Some sites are excellent sources information. Wolfram|Alpha - for scientific and computational data, Digitized Manuscripts - for digitized manuscripts (from the Middle Ages to the present day) of artists, various educational sites - for those who want to learn something new. The main thing is to remember that a small amount of skepticism is always appropriate (and it doesn’t matter whether you’re surfing the Internet or reading a book). Facts and an open mind are what will help you much more than natural intelligence.

      Part 3

      Improving thinking

      1. Change your thinking with language. Scientists have long proven that language determines the way of thinking. For example, those who grew up in a country where the names of parts of the world are often used in speech, and not the concepts of “left-right,” find these parts of the world much faster with the help of a compass.

         • Learn at least one foreign language. Those who speak more than one language see the world... wider, fuller, brighter, more capacious. New language will definitely introduce you to new paradigms of thinking.

      2. Learn from everywhere. Studying is not going to school or memorizing the date of the Battle of Kulikovo. You can (and should) study throughout your life; you can learn anything. If you are constantly learning, you are constantly thinking and therefore developing.

         • Don't blindly trust authorities. Even if a person seems to know what he is talking about, you should always check and double-check, look for new points of view, etc. Just because a respected person said something does not make what he said true. And it’s a completely different matter when you find confirmation of what he said in a number of independent sources.
         • Skepticism is yours best friend. Information should be drawn from a number of independent sources, while always paying attention to who makes certain statements (statements by biased figures, as you yourself understand, are not worth a penny - and sometimes it happens that such figures themselves do not understand what they are talking about).
         • Discover new things, get out of your comfort zone. This will make it easier for you to accept new opinions and views that... do not fit with yours, so you can discover ideas that you would never have known about. So take a cooking class, learn to knit, or join a community of amateur astronomers!

      3. Use mental exercises. The brain is, in a sense, like muscles: weak muscles after exercise they get stronger and become stronger; a weak brain after exercise... gets stronger and begins to think better. The more and more often you use your own brain, the better you think!

         • Do some math. Regular classes mathematics is an excellent exercise for the brain, as well as preventing Alzheimer's disease. Do a few exercises every day (without a calculator, do the math in your head).
         • Memorize the verse. This is not only a way to impress at a party, but also a great exercise for your memory and, consequently, your brain. You can also memorize various quotes so that you can incorporate them into your conversation at the right moment.

      4. Practice mindfulness. This is important because mindfulness not only helps us put our thoughts in order, but sometimes also allows us to find answers to questions. important questions. Mindfulness reduces the severity of mental problems, and will also be simply useful for anyone who strives to learn more and learn to think better.

         • You can practice mindfulness just by walking down the street. Do not immerse yourself in your own thoughts at such a moment, focus on your own five senses - pay attention to the greenness of the trees, the blue of the sky, clouds, the sound of your own steps, the rustling of leaves in the wind, people walking nearby, smells, temperature. Don’t judge your sensations (too cold-hot-bright), just notice them.
         • Meditate for at least 15 minutes a day. This will clear and calm your mind. Sit in a quiet, calm place where you will not be distracted (with practice, you can even start meditating on the bus or at work). Breathe deeply into your belly, focus on your breathing, on inhaling and exhaling - and not on the thoughts that will be spinning in your head at this moment.
      • The ability to think comes with experience. Everyone sometimes believes something they shouldn't. In this case, there is nothing to blame yourself for - you just need to continue to strive for the truth... and be more attentive in the future.

A big and warm hello to everyone! One of the best, in my opinion, human character traits is optimism. Maybe someone will disagree with me, but I sincerely believe that our lives depend on how we see the world, how we think. In previous articles, I wrote about visualization. In them, I told a little about how the power of positive thought works, how it can attract goodness and good luck. And today I would like to talk to you about how to change your thinking in a positive direction, how to learn to see the good instead of the bad.

On this moment I'm trying to instill this habit in myself. I’ll tell you honestly, it won’t work out the first time, but gather your will and continue to change yourself. Soon you will notice that those things that annoyed you will not be so bad. There are several techniques to help you learn to think positively.

Optimism, as a character trait, can be instilled and made an integral part of your life. It will not only give inner peace, but will also affect a person’s overall lifestyle. Agree, it’s always more pleasant to communicate with cheerful, satisfied people who see and notice more good times. It is to them that one subconsciously reaches out, tries to make friends, relies on their opinion. It’s a pleasure to communicate with them, to find mutual language. Positive thinking is very beneficial not only for you, but also for those around you.

Aggressiveness and pessimism, on the contrary, destroy and humiliate dignity. Even if a person is talented, smart, handsome, but is a pessimist by nature, then despite his positive qualities, he will remain an unhappy, lonely person, dissatisfied with life.

There have been and are still being carried out around the world great amount studies that confirm that people who think positively complain less about their health and have longer life expectancy than pessimists. In addition, the risk of cardiovascular disease and hypertension is reduced. This cannot be said about those people who see more bad than good. Scientists have found that their mortality rate is 16 percent higher. And this is not a small amount. So if you want to live long, get sick less and feel like a happy person, you need to not only lead healthy image life, but also to be optimistic.

As I have already said in previous articles, thought has a power that attracts similar energy to itself. That is, if you think about good, then you attract good, if you are tuned in to negativity, then you attract negativity. This phenomenon is clearly visible in people during the treatment of any disease. There were cases that seemed hopeless. But in some incredible way they extricated themselves from very difficult situations, while believing that recovery will come.

There are a number of other positive trends that scientists have observed. An optimist is less prone to stress. He quickly finds a way out of difficult situations. Manic anxiety and worry go away. They are more successful in their careers and in love because they often take conscious risks, believing in the best and in themselves. Pessimists, on the contrary, are more closed people, dejected by life, afraid to take risks, try something new, develop, because they are afraid to lose, knowingly setting themselves up for failure.

I think that each of us wants to live happy life. To do this, you need to look at the world a little with different eyes. There are several ways to practice positive thinking. But this does not mean that you, like a fool, should take situations lightly and unrealistically and not pay attention to problems.

How to learn to think positively

1. First, you need to start changing your attitude towards yourself. We often treat ourselves very strictly and demandingly. Reproaching for every failure or mistake. Moreover, we tend to exaggerate, to inflate the problem to enormous proportions. This is fundamentally wrong. Everyone makes mistakes; negative emotions towards oneself are the first sign of a pessimist. Make it a rule to minimize self-criticism. Respect yourself and accept yourself for who you are. Surely you have many positive qualities, focus on them, do not torment yourself, do not engage in self-flagellation. This will not lead to good.

If you notice that you are thinking negatively, stop yourself, point yourself in the opposite direction, see the good. Never tell others bad things about yourself, don't show and don't tell negative qualities people, love yourself, be kind.

1. Use settings. The use of attitudes can radically change thinking, directing it towards positive side. They are able to develop positive thinking. At the same time, negative thoughts will have no place in your mind. At every opportunity, if you feel overwhelmed by bad thoughts, drive them away with the help of attitudes. Program your brain in a positive way. Write on a piece of paper several versions of positive statements that help you achieve a sense of calm and tranquility, for example, “I can...”, “I will do...”, “I will learn, it’s not difficult at all,” “I can handle it,” “ I happy man”, “I will succeed” and so on.
2. Learn to see in any situation positive aspects. Even if an unpleasant event happened to you, be able to find something funny and cheerful. It is better to perceive every failure as an experience, and it, in turn, is priceless. Try to smile and laugh more often. It is a talent to see the positive in the negative. This incredible ability will exalt you and make you more resistant to depression. Be less sad and it will be more strength for new achievements.
3. Learn to take care of yourself, your health and beauty. Confidence will come by itself. Internal contradictions will disappear, giving more space for positive thinking. Create a habit of exercising physical exercise, develop, read books, study.
4. One of the main rules of positive thinking is the rejection of external suppressive factors. Communicate only with kind people, which please you, do not irritate you. Healthy friendships with a cheerful person affect you. Break off all contact with those who spoil your mood. Minimize the negativity that comes from outside. Surround yourself only with reliable partners, true friends, faithful, positive ones.
5. Be grateful. Take some time each day to remind yourself of all the good things in your life. Give thanks to yourself and others. If you are unhappy with something all the time, you will begin to make a negative impression, and people will turn away from you. And a grateful attitude will attract people and positive energy to you.
6. Don't waste time on empty worries. You are not God and you cannot control everything in the world. Rid yourself of the anxiety that comes from an uncontrollable situation. It is impossible to change the world, some circumstances, and this is quite normal. Thus, stop wasting your precious energy. Circumstances like these are not worth being overcome by. negative energy.
7. Keep a notebook where you write down your successes and victories. Review your posts regularly and praise yourself for your success and achievements. This, firstly, is a very powerful motivation, and secondly, self-esteem rises, and, consequently, positive thinking occurs more and more often.
8. Throw away in front of the unknown, this of course applies to the delivered ones. Many never achieve them, worrying, experiencing fear, which does not allow them to develop. You will succeed, believe in yourself.
9. Use creative visualization. I wrote about her too. Be sure to read the articles.

Now you know how to learn to think positively and in the right direction. You change, your life will change. Change can also affect loved ones. Tell them about your secrets of happiness, perhaps they need it now. What methods do you use to become an optimist? I wish you good luck and prosperity!

How to learn to think positively? Six pitfalls on the path of development.

Tags: Positive thinking

A person who strives to develop positive thinking may encounter many traps, obstacles and pitfalls along his path. Therefore, if you are wondering how to learn to think positively, I recommend that you read this article. This will help you avoid possible difficulties. After all, if forewarned means forearmed!

It is worth saying that most often people fail to learn to think positively when they do not understand the essence of this ability well enough. That is why in my previous article I described in detail the signs of positive thinking.

In today's material we will continue this topic, but from a slightly different angle. I will partially repeat what was already said in the previous article, but in different words and with other examples. I repeat myself on purpose. I really want that when I start practical exercises By developing positive thinking, you clearly understood for yourself what mistakes should be avoided and in which direction you need to move.
So, let's move on to possible pitfalls.

Trap #1. Trying to use willpower to force yourself to think positively.
Example. Nikolay is in the process of looking for a job, and inner voice constantly whispers to him: “You are a loser and you are nothing of yourself. You won’t be able to find a normal job.” But our Nikolai strives to think positively, so he constantly repeats to himself, like a mantra: “I am a successful professional, I have enough abilities and opportunities to find myself Good work" And here’s the question: will repeating such a mantra make the inner voice quiet? Will he stop repeating his opinion? No! At some point, Nikolai may discover that his desire to think positively does not lead to anything.

Another possible variant The development of events is as follows. For a while, Nikolai may be able to drown out his negative thoughts by completely focusing on his goal, actively instilling in himself the idea of ​​his own success. It may even help him get a good job. But what next? As soon as Nikolai relaxes, his inner voice will again become more active, throwing up, for example, the following thoughts: “You, of course, got a good job, but this is some kind of accident. You are not in the right place, so you may well be fired.”

So, trying to fight your negative thoughts, trying to suppress them in most cases turns out to be a rather futile task. It either leads to nothing, or negative thoughts may disappear for a while, then appearing again at the first opportunity. It turns out that the person is in constant voltage, constant struggle with oneself.

What to do with negative thoughts? How can you change them to positive ones if you can’t do it with willpower? I will definitely write about this. Stay tuned for updates on my website!

Trap #2. Not using the beneficial function of negative thoughts.
A negative thought can do more than just harm. Often it also helps its owner in some way, although he does not even suspect it. Surprised? Let's look at this with an example.

Suppose that Mary often has negative thoughts of the following type: “People cannot be trusted.” And she lives with such thoughts, not letting anyone get close to her, treating everyone she meets with suspicion and rejection. But at some point, Maria begins to understand that her loneliness, from which she, by the way, suffers greatly, is connected with her negative way of thinking. Therefore, Maria decides that it is time to change, and tries to instill in herself a positive thought: “I trust people.”

We have already talked about the fact that simply by force of will, replacing a negative thought with a positive one will not work. But suppose that Mary managed to drown out her negative thoughts for a while. What's the result? The following development of events is very likely. Maria begins to trust everyone indiscriminately, and eventually faces the fact that she is being deceived.

That is, a negative thought protected Mary from deception by other people, and this was its useful function. The ability to check which people are worthy of trust and which are not is an entire art that a person learns as he gains experience. Maria does not have such a skill. She never had the incentive to develop it, since total distrust completely protected her.

It is worth saying that almost any negative thought has its own useful function. In fact, this is one of the reasons why it can be so difficult to influence negative thinking. Our psyche is structured very wisely and prevents a rude attempt to forcefully tear out of our consciousness those thoughts that are somehow useful to it.

There will be a separate article on how to learn to see the benefit hidden in negative thoughts and extract it, while transforming thoughts into positive ones.

Trap #3. Failure to see objective difficulties.
Suppose I decided to swim across the Bering Strait. About this, I may have thoughts: “You're crazy! You will not make it! Do not even try!"

These kinds of thoughts are easy to confuse with negative ones. I can decide: my thoughts limit me, deprive me of self-confidence! Therefore, I will reformulate them in a positive, as it seems to me, way and will constantly repeat it like a mantra: “I am full of strength and energy. I can easily and naturally swim across the Bering Strait, getting incredible pleasure from such a boat trip.” And I won’t pay any attention to the idea that you shouldn’t try to overcome 86 km if you can only swim like a dog.

My example is exaggerated, with obviously stupid logic. But life often presents us with situations where everything is not so obvious. And then it is very important not to break away from reality and be able to distinguish negative thoughts from objectively existing difficulties.

Trap #4. Belief in magical changes without any personal effort.
Suppose I gave up the idea of ​​conquering the Bering Strait and decided that first I should learn to swim. And here I am sitting on the sofa in the lotus position, tuning in to the positive and repeating to myself like a mantra: “I swim great! I feel like a fish in the water! I can easily and naturally swim any distance!” Of course, if I sign up for the pool and go to training regularly, my attitude will help me. But the problem is that very often people for some reason think that it is not necessary to go to the pool, it is enough to repeat the mantra.

I judge this from information that can be found on the Internet. You just have to search a little and you will see a huge number of meditations and affirmations for attracting happiness, love, money, etc. I bring clear example. On one site, of which there are thousands, I found the following affirmations for attracting money:
. Money flows to me easily.
. I am a magnet for money, and money is a magnet for me.
. My income is growing all the time.
It is believed that if you introduce these statements into your consciousness, money will flow to you like a river. I can even partially agree with this. But only partially! After all, in order to attract wealth into your life, you also need to do something else. Of course, there are situations with winning the lottery, but I don’t think it’s far-sighted to rely only on them. Moreover, even to win the lottery you need to take action and buy a ticket.

Why do positive thoughts affect reality? Because they are able to:
. change the internal state;
. inspire action;
. help new ideas be born;
. help to see new ways in the situation that were not visible until now.
And through such changes, positive thoughts change our reality.

Many people believe that positive thoughts can attract desired events into our lives. I also believe in this, because from my own experience I have seen many times how, for completely inexplicable reasons, life events suddenly they develop in the most successful way, if you set yourself up correctly. However, even with a successful combination of circumstances, much depends on ourselves: it is important to see the opportunities that arise in time, to react correctly to the situation, to use the chances that we have.

It is very important not to expect that changing your way of thinking will magically change something in your life, but to observe and track what internal transformations occur in connection with changes in thinking. If you are going in the right direction and doing everything right, then such transformations will definitely occur: your inner mood, emotions, behavior, perception of the situation, etc. may change. If you already long time you are trying to change the way you think, and at the same time you do not feel any visible internal changes; you should not expect changes in external reality. Better think about whether you are moving in the right direction. It may be worth changing something in your tactics.

Trap #5. Using positive thinking to achieve empty goals.
I really like the quote by M. Bulgakov: “Be careful with your desires - they tend to come true.” Think back to yourself a few years ago. Remember what you dreamed about, what you wanted. Does everything that seemed important to you then still have value today?

Often people strive for something that actually does not have much value for them. At the same time, focusing on achieving your goal, there is a risk of ceasing to see many other opportunities for applying your strength and energy, other paths you can take.

To avoid finding yourself in such a situation, ask yourself the following questions more often. What do I really want? Will achieving my goal bring me happiness? What other paths could I have taken? Why did I choose this particular path?
These are the questions you can ask yourself right now. But in general, the topic of recognizing your true goals is quite complex, and a separate article will be devoted to it. Stay tuned for updates on my website!

Trap #6. Leaving your own true feelings and emotions.
Such care looks something like this. Suppose a person is very upset about something, and he has serious reasons for this. And so he gets sad, worries, and then suddenly remembers that he needs to think positively. Our hero begins to try his best to cultivate a positive perception of the world, actively instilling in himself the idea that life is beautiful and amazing.

We already discussed a similar example when we dismantled trap No. 1. Therefore, I think you understand the futility of trying to force yourself to think positively. But now I want to draw your attention to one more aspect of such actions.

The fact is that, trying to impose positive thoughts on oneself, a person, among other things, moves away from his true feelings. In the above example, a person moves away from his sadness and tries not to notice it. This is a very dangerous and destructive approach to your emotions, which can only temporarily distract you from tormenting experiences, but in the long term can cause emotional problems. Read about why it is important to treat any emotion with attention and under no circumstances try to get rid of it by force of will.

Conclusion.
While reading the article, you probably already realized that not always a thought that at first glance seems positive actually is. The opposite is also true. Not all negative thoughts are actually that negative. Read about how to distinguish a positive thought from a negative one in my next article.

Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: Unlikely modern world there is a place where you can hide from the bombing with advice in the spirit of “how to change yourself and become happy.” Motivational posts, inspiring public pages, and books are popping up from every corner. to varying degrees scientific character. Beach reading - romance novels - has been replaced by non-fiction with an important goal: to make people happier, more successful and yes - even teach them how to cook chicken breast by Jamie Oliver.

There is hardly a place in the modern world where you can hide from bombing with advice in the spirit of “how to change yourself and become happy.” From every corner there are motivating posts, inspiring public pages, books of varying degrees of science.

Beach reading - romance novels - has been replaced by non-fiction with an important goal: to make people happier, more successful and, yes, even teach how to cook chicken breast according to Jamie Oliver.

Of course, it’s nice to read a note with three steps to happiness, two of which are “close your eyes tightly” and “make a wish.” And one cannot say that all this is complete nonsense. There are serious scientific calculations confirming that the one who now actually closes his eyes and rejoices (an optimist) will live longer than any sad skeptics, and his health will be better.

Why you shouldn't learn to think positively

Science shows that being so enlightened is indeed good for your health, although it would seem that only an overly rosy view of the world causes people to mix cocktails that are impossible to mix in their right mind.

The heyday of positive psychology came in 1998, when Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania was elected president of the American Psychological Association. Seligman worked for thirty years studying depression, and in his welcoming speech he suddenly announced that all this time the researchers had been looking in the wrong direction: they should focus not on the poor people who have everything very bad in their lives, but, on the contrary, on those from whom they can take money. for example, on the cheerful, healthy and contented.

Optimism according to Seligman is a special style of thinking when a person considers all favorable events to be natural and logical, and failures to be random and in no way related to his personality.

A very convenient solution! Not “I could have done something,” but “she drowned”; not “I blew my last pants in the casino”, but “unlucky - the black one didn’t come up.”

Both pundits and various charlatans have written a lot of books on how to move towards happiness, that is, think positively - train to see in the proverbial glass not the reason for tomorrow's hangover, but something good.

This idea has been terribly simplified by marketers pushing everyday little things into a recipe for happiness in life.

Here is a wonderful blanket, you can wrap yourself in it and rejoice, looking at the winter yard; here’s a new gadget that will make you smile and take selfies three times more often; here, at worst, a chocolate bar. Don't forget to roll your eyes in delight.

The idea of ​​happiness as a picture from a simple movie - where everyone is constantly smiling - leads into a trap: it seems that in order to become an optimist, you just need to put on a smile and focus on the good (today, for example, it’s diamonds on your socks and canceling a meeting ). Flat marketing optimism (“Look for a ray of sunshine in every day!”) is opposed to another optimism that is so widespread in our culture that it is not even clear why it should be specially studied..

It is expressed by the short but succinct word “maybe” or the formula “Yes, everything will be fine - forget it!”

Woody Allen's urban neurotic with obsessive-compulsive disorder will never understand how anyone can compete in a speed-eating pancake competition. And here the game of evolution is visible: it is better to wash your hands with soap eighty-five times a day and look at those around you with a gloomy look from under your brows, than to expect the next future elections with the mood “Everything will be fine!”Well, it’s not profitable for a person to watch an avalanche coming towards him and giggle: “Yes, I’ll get out somehow!”

Anxious creatures, control freaks, perfectionists - this is how we are designed according to Darwinian theory and the Darwin Prize. In cave times, it was much better to shy away from every rustle and wash fruits in the stream than to walk carefree in the open area, believing that those bushes were swaying solely from the wind.

And yet we still have a lot, a lot of unnecessary optimism., even if we are not in the habit of posting photographs from glossy magazine in the unreasonable hope of “luring the same machine from the Universe.”

Yes, saber-toothed tigers are not jumping on us today, but rose-colored glasses still cause harm. This one, for example.

1. We perceive ourselves incorrectly.

Neuroscientist Tali Sharot believes that with a tendency towards optimism is a cognitive illusion characteristic of 80% of people y. This trait is clearly evident in surveys: “How do you drive? How attractive / interesting to other people / honest and modest are you?”

The majority rate themselves “above average” in all these parameters, which, of course, is statistically impossible, and in general it is obvious nonsense: if you are driving, it is clear that on the entire street you are the only one who drives decently - everyone else unconsciously presses on different pedals and turns the steering wheel.

Ask any newlywed how likely they are to get divorced. And then show him the statistics and laugh maliciously.

However, this will not work. When we're talking about about ourselves, we usually overestimate the probability good event (“If you cross the Volokolamsk highway in the wrong place at night, the truck will have time to slow down”) and underestimate the likelihood of bad things(“The mother of the bride will not sing”).

Well. and the confidence that “other people are interested in you” makes some unfortunate people take the floor at a corporate event and arouse universal hatred towards themselves.

2. We make unrealistic plans.

Taking on important work, it is better to think not about Paulo Coelho and the fact that the Universe is coming to meet us, but about "planning error". This term was proposed by behavioral economist Daniel Kahneman along with colleague Amos Tversky, talking about the cognitive bias associated with excessive optimism and incorrect calculation of the deadlines for completing a task (time, as a rule, it takes much more than expected).

Research confirms that people are arrogant about their prospects write a course paper, finish a project before the deadline, or quickly build the Zenit Arena as real as possible. And every time - to the same rake.

Moreover, as scientists have found, past experience does not affect people's optimism- We’ll be in time for the World Cup! Even knowing that we failed to complete the previous task on time, we still hope that everything will work out now: “Yes, of course! We'll get ready for Friday's event, yeah!” And on Friday optimism will also come in handy: “Maybe it will blow through!” We must believe in the best."

3. We make mistakes more often

Scientists do not recommend hiring people who always radiate joy. Many bosses intuitively feel this and try in every possible way to spoil the mood of their subordinates.

For example, there are studies confirming that people in a bad mood have better memory.

And other experiments show that arguers with a negative mindset find more persuasive arguments than their cheerful opponents. Therefore, if you are suddenly invited to a debate, do not believe stories about optimism, but try to put yourself in a more gloomy mood.

4. From the imposed dogma “Think positively!” it only gets worse

For some people it is enough to say: “Believe in the best, look forward, communism will come in five years!” - and with a contented look they begin to admire the happiness looming in the distance. Others need a lot more effort (and antidepressants). What if you don't believe in the mantra “Think with optimism!”?

When people think that everyone around them expects nothing but positivity, they experience more negative emotions.

Surely everyone has been to comedy shows, which cause suicidal thoughts, and the louder the people in the neighboring chairs laugh, the more you want to do something terrible.

Or take positive affirmations about yourself. You smile at your reflection in the mirror, look at the bags under your eyes, but the psychology of success insists: self-hypnosis will help better than a cold compress now (“I’m just handsome!”).

Canadian psychologist Joanna Wood asked students to say the controversial statement: “I am an attractive person,” and then watched how their self-esteem changed from this rather ridiculous statement. And it really has changed! It increased among those who were quite confident in themselves before the experiment. But the subjects who rated themselves not so highly felt that the mantra played a cruel joke on them: they felt even more embarrassed.

Attitudes that we take out of thin air or from a demotivator with a picture of a sunset, instead of having a beneficial effect, bring harm.

It seems that with the idea “Look at life with optimism!” humanity has gone a little overboard. And it’s not a sin to be a nervous bore: not to rejoice at a snowflake flying into your eye, not to have fun at a bad party, and generally when there is no reason. This is exactly what it says folk proverb: “Optimism without reason is the hallmark of Dale Carnegie.”

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! © econet