Of course, the difficulties that a student has to overcome reach their apogee during this period. All this is reflected in the scenes about students, funny to the point of sarcasm. Indeed, in order to survive in some situations, it is required to approach many problems with humor.
Many funny scenes describe a resourceful student, whose fantasies any science fiction writer will envy.
For example, he comes out to answer with a ticket in his hand. The professor wearily nods his head to him - they say, start. “Awning-poor and awning-titti,” says the student with his tongue sticking out. The professor's eyes widen: “What ??? Repeat, my friend, the question! What are such titi ??? " The student says, sticking out his tongue, a clumsy phrase, which in translation will sound like this: "You see, professor, yesterday the dog bit my tongue!" “It can't be! How did this happen? " - “I ate a sandwich with a sausage, and she ran past. She wanted to take my food away. Now I have a bitten tongue, and the dog has a bitten off ear. And the question is: "Centrifugal and centripetal forces." The professor nods his head, and the student, with the help of facial expressions and gestures, tries to convey to him the answer to the question.
I will explain the structure of the world on my fingers
In general, the described episode can serve as a plot point for many interludes, starting remarkably funny scenes... KVN about students will be inimitably decorated with a miniature, in which a sly man tells not only about centrifugal and centripetal forces with a pantomime, but also retells the content of Othello, explains the structure of the atom, gives an answer to the question “ Animal world Australia ".
Alternatively, a student translator with a good knowledge of the subject could be included. Even more fun will be the option when the pantomime of an ignorant young man is translated to the professor by the same gouge, but with confidence in his righteousness.
You can't think of it like that - it should have happened sometime!
Funny scenes about students are mainly born from real facts... These are the so-called short anecdotes turned into miniatures. Many funny sketches about students are based on the lack of money of this social stratum, but the cheerful character of young people, focused not on the present, but on the future, helps them "not to worry" about this. For example, situations associated with the adage "an eternally hungry student" may well become seeds from which scenes for a student's day grow, funny and a little sad.
In a student cafeteria, a guy buys two takeaway sausages. The fat saleswoman sarcastically jokes: "Something new ... You, Petrov, are not walking in any way, do you have a holiday?" - “Yes, Taisiya, I’m celebrating the anniversary… Yes, more, please, 18 forks!” Students, waiting for the hero of the day, peek at the door of the dining room.
Dedication to students
Funny scenes, which are necessarily played out during this first student's holiday, exaggerately ridicule the life of frivolous young people. On the one hand, they seem to give a damn about grades, expulsion from educational institution and the difficulties in life faced by their fate. But on the other hand, now the student has other priorities, "saints" and "gods." Therefore, funny scenes about students at this event are to some extent based on the fear of young people before the dean's office, strict teachers and exams.
Scene "Stub of the world"
You can play a humorous initiation in the students, where the speech is given to the "elder." Young guys sit in a circle, just like the Indians do. Instead of feathers, pens and pencils stick out in their hair. They smoke a "stub of the world" that goes around in a circle. For scenes about students, funny and full of some sarcasm, to be successful, it is necessary to pay special attention to the outfit of the artists: the "wise elders" are dressed in tights with outstretched knees and torn T-shirts with cool inscriptions, and "young beginners" - in suits with ties and white shirts.
Elder's Address to Young Students
"My friends! Those who have already learned the hardships of this battle are addressing you, who are embarking on the warpath against the almighty and cruel queen of science. Remember the name of the great and almighty student god named Anunakh!
But you should know that we have a no less powerful goddess - the patroness of students named Freebie, who concurrently fulfills the position of Anunakh's wife. To her, the kindest and unpredictable, we turn every night and every day our ardent prayers and tearful requests for help.
Anunakh is helped by his assistants-relatives, the gods-substitutes: the brave and cheerful brother Nuifigto, the beautiful sisters Dapotom, Kaknibuduzh and Neshash, the kindest brother-in-law Yasodral, constantly harming Anunakh, Here's the good, Sporeest. In grief and misfortune, the student is always consoled by Anunakh's sons-in-law, who are in friendship with him: Nunesdam, Peresdam and Akadem.
The equally omnipotent despot god Dean's office is constantly in a state of war with Anunakh. It is from his hard hands that the destinies of many of our compatriots are being ruined! And it is he who is trying to overthrow Anunakh and convert student fraternity into nerdy. But Anunakh with his retinue constantly defeats the machinations of the Dean's office, and indifference, together with age-old carelessness, continue to govern the consciousness of the great and indestructible brotherhood!
It is worth remembering that the ominous Dean's office is helped by his minions, the demons Nauchnruk, Kursovik, Nezachet and others. The evil despot Neud with his evil wife Tolkodva stands out with special cynicism and cruelty among them.
Everything dark forces they hold their sabbath twice a year when their power is immensely powerful. These covens are called the terrible word Session. During the Sabbath, students are instructed to lead righteous life, in which there is no place for sleep, festivities, where everyone observes a beer fast and refrains from climbing into the windows of the women's hostel, as well as intensely pray to the good gods: Anunakh, Freebie, Nuifigto, Shporaest and others.
This is the main thing, my children, that you must know and remember as you embark on this slippery path, full of suffering and torment ... Amen! "
In our KVN.
Performance of the student team of KVN.
First comes out, reads the letter.
1st. To grandfather's village ... My dear grandfather, Konstantin Makarych! Your grandson Vanka Zhukov is writing to you. For the second year I have been studying at the university, and for the second year I pray to you in tears: take me away! Everything would be fine, no one bothers, and they give you enough sleep, one thing is bad: the session is already twice a year. And then, dear grandfather, just drop everything and run wherever your eyes are looking: then exams, then tests, or something they will think of. I don’t have my lover to endure all this, I want to see you for a warm stove. And yesterday I was dragged out: I was told to go to KVN to play, sing and dance! And I’m all into you, dear grandfather, - no hearing, no voice, well, I refused. And the guys got angry, threatened to beat me up, but the rector stood up, looked at me carefully and said that I was very suitable for KVN - funny. So he wrote on his student card: "Good".
The melody of the song "Border" sounds. Behind the scene there is a shout: “Build! Step to the stage, march! ". On the stage "locomotive" are kaveenschikov: some with a guitar, some with an accordion, some with suitcases and bags.
Everything (singing to the tune of the song "Border")... They took it, guys, right without a military registration and enlistment office,
In KVN they took it and gave it as a joke!
Forgive me, grandfather, but I won't come to you,
After all, I have to play like everyone else!
There is no border for you here,
We have where to fight!
Let's play in KVN
We are not for medals!
We will not play in KVN for medals -
The audience is not tired of clapping in the hall.
The girl will come, cry from laughter,
Will say: "Cool, dear!"
It's good that KVN has come to our city -
Instead of cigarettes and beer instead.
We will play, KVN will begin,
Sing and dance, light the hall.
Just like everyone else, light KVN.
Just like everyone else!
We will play in KVN,
It will become more fun.
There is no border for you here!
Here are the students' faces!
2nd. You are welcomed by the KVN team ... (name of the institute).
1st. Guys, we are students! And they started KVN just like the military! (Sings.) The locomotive will rush straight to the border!
3rd. You don’t understand anything, this is a greeting. We must tell the jury and the audience about ourselves, about our university.
1st. And what did we tell with this song?
2nd. Well, at least the fact that our university has a military department and after graduating from the university we become reserve officers.
3rd. By the way, guys, do you know that there is no club for the cheerful and resourceful in the army?
1st. Why?
4th. Because the cheerful ones sit on the lip, and the resourceful ones are at home.
2nd. By the way, being resourceful is great. Resourcefulness is always needed, especially for us students.
Musical beat.
Everything (they sing to the tune of the song "Cool you got on TV"). In a provincial town
Once upon a time we were with you.
We were leaving to study,
Leaving my home.
In our beloved town
Suddenly a branch was opened.
"Super! - together we said. -
You hit, and I hit! "
Cool we got with you
To this university,
And I'm proud of my university!
Make your choice, don't be shy
Be brave!
There is no university more beautiful, believe me!
1st. Here you have years growing,
Here's 17 for you.
Where to study for you then,
What to do?
2nd. I want to be an economist.
3rd. And I am a cool programmer.
4th. I dream to be an engineer.
1st. I am in charge of affairs.
Together. All these specialties
Available at our university.
2nd. To our city from distant lands
Everyone is in a hurry to visit us!
Chukchi, Negro and New Russian come out.
Chukchi(sings to the tune of the song "I'll take you to the tundra")... I raced on deer for a long time
And I came here.
I want to study at the university,
We will be one family.
So that there are fewer jokes
They wrote about me
I will learn all the sciences
Even though I am a Chukchi, friends!
Chorus. We'll drive through, we'll race through the outskirts and center
AND student life I will, however, heal.
I'll wrap it up in a disco, go to concerts,
I will take a young city woman to my tundra!
Black person(sings to the tune of the song "Chocolate Bunny")... I was a chocolate hare,
But I wanted to study
And from Africa to your city
I just took it and flew in.
I told you: "Happy New Year!"
"Go to hell!" - I said.
Your director laughed
And he took me as a student.
And now I'm at the institute -
What a fine fellow I am!
I will begin to study well,
I am an example and an example.
Lectures, of course, I will
It's very strict to visit,
And then at recess
I will sing and dance.
I will be a student here
Cool intellectual
One hundred percent beautiful! NS!
Ah, dear Africa,
I miss you,
But I feel good here! NS!
New Russian (sings to the tune of the song "If I were a Sultan")... "If I were a sultan" -
I used to sing.
I became a new Russian -
Steeper than the Sultan!
I have a villa
I have two firms,
But I decided it was time
Learn to me.
To your university, specifically, keep in mind,
I will come to learn different sciences.
1st. Students are different.
2nd. So now, without education, nowhere! And not only young people understand this, but also our grandmothers.
New Russian grandmas come out.
Flower (shouts)... But who are the hot pies, with apples, with cabbage?
Matryona. Why, Flower, have you gone into trade?
A flower. And where to go, then? We bought a computer for a grandson - how much money is lost! I gave all my savings. But now everything is there: the sprinter, and the motor, that is, the monitor, and the mouse.
Matryona (bounces)... How is the mouse? Oh, priests, did you bring it with you, or what?
A flower. The mouse is white from the computer, darkness! I have no time to talk to you, I need to feed my grandson. In the morning I ran away - I didn't have breakfast.
Matryona (sarcastically)... Well, what does our two-meter baby eat? What's his menu for today?
A flower. As usual, nothing special. Cabbage soup, about seven cutlets, a bowl of salad, pancakes, three liter compotika, twelve kilogram watermelon.
Matryona. With such an appetite only to learn in culinary, to try everything prepared. Why did you choose this institute?
A flower. He himself chose the granddaughter, and how he chose is a separate song.
The fifth comes out, sings to the melody "As my mother wanted me."
5th. How my mother wanted me
In vocational schools, teach to give.
But I'm afraid, brothers,
To meddle in vocational schools.
Oh, don't give me back to your mother!
How my mother wanted me
To give to the polytechnic,
So then I kind of
I was at the machine plant.
Oh, don't give me back to your mother!
How my mother wanted me
Give it to a medical school.
I've been since school,
Oh, I'm afraid of injections.
Oh, don't give me back to your mother!
How my mother wanted me
To give to an agricultural technical school,
That I was the first
The guy in the village.
Oh, don't give me back to your mother!
Mother was tortured with me
We have lost our peace.
Okay, there is a university!
I will be a great engineer!
Oh, give me my mother!
3rd. And we continue our speech and now let's talk about what worries our youth.
4th. Like what? Our study, profession, our future.
Verka Serduchka and Glucose appear on the stage.
Serduchka (points a finger towards the student)... Is this your choice, daughter? Nightmare! Oh, this modern youth, and especially your youth fashion!
(Sings to the tune of the song "The Groom Wanted".) I told you many times:
What do you wear to the disco -
Well this is just ATAS!
What a jeans, what a T-shirt,
What a stupid outfit!
A decent guy from you
I swear he will run away!
Run away, run away You're just a fool!
Glucose. You have fallen behind fashion, mom,
For almost a thousand years!
And I'm so stylish -
One for the entire faculty.
And I'm dressed very cool
Don't talk nonsense!
And I'm a great guy,
Of course I will.
I will find - doo-doo, I already know!
Together. I wanted a groom!
Glucose. So I dressed up,
La la la la la!
Together. I wanted a groom!
Serduchka. So I was stunned,
La la la la la!
1st. Sheer misunderstanding!
2nd. Eternal problem fathers and children!
3rd(corrects)... Daughters and mothers!
4th. What's the difference! It's just that parents forget that they were children too. We ran through the puddles, got deuces, disappeared at dances and, of course, played ...
Everything. In KVN!
5th. Come on, Aunt Vera!
Serduchka (sings to the tune of the song "Over the Four Seas")... I remember I played in KVN!
And many years have passed since then.
Now you too, student!
I believe everything will be fine with us.
Quite a few words have been written on the topics “What is KVN” and “The role of KVN in the life of modern youth”. More words are written about each game or festival KVN... KVN people love to write - this is one of their properties.
And we sometimes like to speculate on these topics, but we will do it elsewhere. And here we want to lay out what remains in the head after KVN for an ordinary viewer. This is what ordinary office workers are looking for when a corporate KVN is planned in their office.
Yes, these are all of them: jokes, scenes, miniatures, all-wicked remade songs and parodies. All this then turns into KVN contests: business cards, music books and homework.
Popular on the site
Funny jokes that once caused a tsunami of laughter and kilotons of rzhach in KVN
They will help if you are preparing for KVN at school. Of course, one would have to compose jokes ourselves, but if the time trouble ...
Whether you will hear this news from the lips of Zhanna Agalakova, I’m telling them that they shouldn’t say that.
Funny jokes about game number one. The footballers give us a reason - we are joking.
Crisis signs. Very topical jokes. Read it and rejoice a little.
Scenes and miniatures of KVN
Scenes and miniatures are the same jokes, only you can't just tell them in words. Well, no kidding - you already know - there is nowhere in KVN.
Excellent KVNovskiy number for five points. Take it to your script.
Scene texts, which are suitable for any KVN competition.
Cases at school, cases at school, cases with students and teachers
So that you can then say "You have viewed the thumbnail ..."
Ready set material for a small business card. It remains only to add KVNschikov there
Alterations of songs for KVN
Redo songs - favourite hobby KVNschikov. From small karapul, to grandiose pretentious finals - they have been remaking, remaking, and will be remaking into KVN.
Rework famous hit Gennady Asmolov. The song sounded on the air "Voting KiViN-2007"
The reworked song of the "Kino" group - like it very much
Alteration of the song of the group "Lyube" - everyone sinned by alteration of this song
Silly parody of the hit from the musical "Notre Dame de Paris"
KVN scenarios
The scenario in KVN is a soft concept. And not only because it exists on paper. Under the influence of editors, the script sometimes changes beyond recognition.
Greetings from the KVN team "On my own wave" - I highly recommend
A business card is a competition that happens in every KVN. Business card scripts are always needed!
Classic numbered homework with an entertainer in verse.
Big musical number about fixed-route taxis in Ryazan. I always went with a bang.
You are the negative minus of our department
A young graduate of the Agricultural Academy stands in the middle of a field of vegetable marrows and argues in complete bewilderment:
I know everything about zucchini: how they grow, how they bloom, how they bear fruit. But how do they spawn spawn ???
A student enters a trolleybus at a stop. He sits down in an empty seat and drives off. At the next stop, an old grandmother comes in. Comes up to him and says:
Granddaughter, give your grandmother a place
Grandma, but the trolleybus is empty, all seats are free.
And I love it warm!
A student sneaks into an empty room in a dormitory, without turning on the light, goes to the window, shakes out a cactus from a flower pot, removes part of the earth and puts a pie wrapped in plastic. After all this, he returns the cactus to its place, levels the ground and goes to bed. In the morning he leaves for classes. In the evening he returns, rushes to the pot, digs up the earth, and there is a note: "Do not scatter your things in conspicuous places. They ate the pie so that it does not deteriorate."
Exam. The professor says to the student:
Choose your ticket.
The student puts brandy on the table.
Professor:
O! Cognac is good.
Cognac is "excellent".
The student takes an exam in physics. Handing over very badly. The professor tries to pull him out, asks:
Tell me, at least, at what temperature does the water boil?
Professor, I don't know at what temperature it boils, but I know that at 40 degrees it turns into vodka!
Telegram from parents:
- "How is the exam? Notify me urgently!"
- "The exam went well. The professors are delighted. They ask to repeat it in the fall."
Exam, student falls irrevocably. A crowd stands outside the door and thinks how to help her out. Finally, a guy bursts into the audience and shouts:
Ivanova, your son was born!
The teacher, of course, congratulates her, gives her a grade, signs out.
Lecture on philosophy. The teacher talks about the difference between matter and consciousness:
Consciousness has no extension. We cannot think of 15 cm. And we cannot think of 2 kg!
And thinking about half a liter is easy ...
A survey is being conducted among students from different countries. Who how long does it take to learn Japanese language? The first was asked by the American. He clicked on the computer and said:
One year and eight months.
They asked the Frenchman, who ran to the library, looked through the catalogs there and promised to learn it in a year.
Next on the list was a Russian sutdent. We found him in the smoking-room, asked our burning question.
Do you have a training manual?
They gave him a training manual, he flipped through it at the moment:
I'll finish my smoke, I'll go to surrender.
The inscription on the desk: "Button for turning off the lecturer. If you refuse, cut it down manually."
Student covenant: Do not cheer at lectures, for you will wake up your neighbor
You know, I don’t understand our dean. Here he will expel us and we will go to the army. If something happened, we won’t defend him!
A student on the exam in political science does not know a single question, a completely exhausted kind professor, not wanting to cut off a negligent student, points to the portrait of Karl Marx:
Young man, well, at least who is this, you know?
The student, after a tense silence:
King of spades?
Written exam in progress. Streaming audience. The teacher sits at the pulpit and reads a newspaper. Everything is written off, as expected.
The newspaper slowly creeps down. All cheat sheets are abruptly removed.
The newspaper slowly creeps down. All cribs are closed by hand.
The newspaper slowly creeps down. All books are removed.
The newspaper slowly creeps down. All books are closed.
Characteristics of Grinev in Pushkin's "The Captain's Daughter"
Characteristics of the main characters of the work War and Peace, Tolstoy
The first and second editions of "The Inspector
"War and Peace": characteristics of the main characters
Speech characteristics of the heroes of the play N