How to restore business reputation after a New Year's corporate party. Drunk at a corporate party

A corporate party is a great way to communicate with colleagues in an informal setting and have a good rest. However, for some reason, waking up in the morning and remembering the holiday, you realize that you overdid it. How to go to work after the incident? This can happen to anyone, and it should be considered as a bad experience from which appropriate conclusions must be drawn. Surely there will be people at work who want to discuss your behavior. Prepare for these conversations ahead of time.

Post-Corporate Syndrome: Let's Discuss

If you really behaved unacceptably, just say that the working quarter turned out to be too hard, you were tired and just wanted to relax. That’s probably why they overdid it with alcohol, as a result of which they got drunk at a corporate party, it’s a shame that you don’t know what to do ... But you work so well that you can forgive this puncture. Especially caustic answer that adults and self-sufficient people should not discuss the small mistakes of colleagues. Joke that big corporate cake, eaten the day before, should have united you all, and not vice versa.




Note from the boss

The festival is attended not only by colleagues, but also by the management, which manages to notice all the distinguished ones. Perhaps you, too, fell under this scrutiny, getting drunk at a corporate party. Of course you are ashamed. What to do now? If your boss makes a remark about your behavior, you should apologize for your behavior and explain that you just miscalculated a little. Be sure to clarify that this behavior is usually unusual for you and you do not plan to repeat such feats in the future. It is highly desirable to speak this moment. Perhaps you are being considered for a promotion because they want to see how well you meet the company's expectations. In this case, you need to show that you are able to smooth out all sharp corners and correct mistakes in time. End the conversation on a positive note by noting that the celebration was organized very well and the cake from the Iris Delicia confectionery was simply amazing. Management really appreciates this kind of feedback.

Frivolous behavior

It is customary to relax at a corporate party, because people tend to feel relaxed. Simply put, many can behave in the same way as in the company of friends - they are not at work. And your colleagues are no exception. However, some may behave somewhat cheekily.
If you got drunk at a corporate party, you are ashamed and you do not know what to do, try to assess the situation objectively. Perhaps you just think that you behaved too frivolously. In any case, even if you invited all your male colleagues to dance, you can simply explain that you love to dance very much, but on working days you absolutely don’t have time for this - so you couldn’t stop when there was so much fun around. Loud music, whiskey and cola in large quantities, a huge team - all this makes you want to dance and have fun.




If you openly flirted with one of your colleagues and even hung around his neck, but you were not reciprocated, just apologize to this person. Say you're sorry for your behavior and make it a joke. You have to work together, and therefore it is important to immediately eliminate all misunderstandings so that in the future there will be no elements of tension and rejection in your communication.

draw conclusions

In whatever state you participate in and whatever you do during the holiday, draw the right conclusions from everything that happened. For some reason, you do not know how to relax without alcohol, and after drinking, you cannot stop. Maybe you just don't know how to relax. Try discussing this issue with a psychologist. It's good if you can get out of a difficult situation with dignity. However, it is worth remembering that in some cases such mistakes can cost a career.

New Year's Eve days for many people are spoiled by shame - they got drunk and did all sorts of things at the New Year's corporate party. Light shame, annoying, burning, and even generally unbearable. I won’t describe what people are ashamed of after a corporate party, I’d rather focus on shame - one of the most important emotions. And on the paradoxical motives of such a pattern of behavior: wait for the New Year's booze with colleagues, purposefully get drunk on it, predictably go beyond different limits and boundaries, and then suffer from it. Perhaps such an analysis will alleviate the suffering of those who are now just doing this.

To make it easier to endure shame, it would be good to learn about the specific properties of this emotion. Shame is a painful experience of one's own inconsistency - with social norms, the expectations of significant people, and the requirements for oneself. Shame regulates our behavior - it tells us how to behave and how not to behave in order to maintain the respect of others, and respect ourselves. Seems like a useful feature. But it has a downside - in a state of shame, a person feels naked, humiliated, insignificant. This emotion causes regression into the most unpleasant states of childhood. Shame pushes us to learn how to behave better, but at the same time plunges us into a helpless state in which it is difficult to learn anything.

It is desirable to defend yourself from shame so that it does not turn into depression. There are two types of defenses - primitive and highly developed. Primitive ones are suppression, denial, rationalization. They give a one-time relief from shame. But they do not allow something to be learned - after all, if shame is suppressed, then there seems to be no need to learn. So, shameful behavior will be repeated every time. High-level defenses are understanding a shameful situation, recognizing your painful areas, and finding ways to improve your behavior. To do this, you need to get off your knees, on which shame has put you - take an adult position. And live the emotion of shame in adulthood. Below I will list some of the shame pitfalls that make it difficult to comprehend the situation of post-holiday shame.

Trap1.
Ashamed of one's behavior in problematic circumstances as if they were normal circumstances.
Corporate is a problematic, not a normal situation. The very tradition of corporate parties is ambiguous and insidious. It seems like corporate parties should improve relations between colleagues, strengthen cohesion. This is done most often with the help of alcohol - one of the most potent drugs. Moreover, we take this substance in such incredible doses, like no other drug, with the exception of tobacco. And it is quite difficult to conduct intelligently in such problematic circumstances, which is already there.

Trap 2.
Ashamed of unwanted behavior that was desired.
The point is not only in the deceit of the organizers of corporate parties. Many people go to these events with great pleasure and selflessly break away there. And even those who seem to despise corporate parties also go and come off. A corporate party is a socially approved and desired by the participants situation of violation of social boundaries. The reasons, in general, are obvious and banal. For a whole year we carried a heavy burden - the burden of sociality, consciousness, reasonableness, relevance, decency. This means that many things in themselves were suppressed by this burden - emotionality, openness, spontaneity, a desire for intimacy, as well as aggressiveness.

And now, finally, this burden can be thrown off, and not at home with relatives, and not in the company of friends - with them this burden is easier, which means that the uniqueness of the situation is lower. And with colleagues - with people with whom we have dual relationships - formal and informal, social and interpersonal, at the same time. We see each other almost more than with relatives, we experience a lot of emotions about them - both positive and negative. The situation when we can jointly throw off the burden of social obligations to each other is quite valuable and unique. At the same time, if we abruptly and forcibly throw off the burden of consciousness and sociality, then a lot of the unconscious and asocial comes to light - we can open up to each other in a completely different way than we planned. Perhaps this is where the paradoxical combination of desirability and shame comes from.

Trap 3: Ashamed of behaving in a regressed state as if it were a normal state.
Many are ashamed not because they drank, but because they acted like drunks when they were drunk. Blame the effect, not the cause. Intoxication is a purposeful suppression of controlling mental functions. Getting drunk, we regress into a half-childish, half-animal state, cutting off the upper floors of our personality. But we are ashamed of our personality. Many people are most worried that their colleagues found out SUCH about them, saw them from SUCH a side, that it is not clear how to look into their eyes later. And colleagues just saw you drunk - they saw a state, not a person. And the person is responsible for making a decision with a choice - to drink, and turn himself off by this.

Trap 4. The doer/observer effect, or "it won't happen to me."
Most people, seeing a drunk, feel disgust and contempt. But when we ourselves undertake to drink, we expect that this will not happen to us. But more often than not, this is an illusion. And ends with disgust and self-contempt, but not in the process of use, but after.

There is such a theory about alcoholism: a person drinks to fight alcohol - who will win whom. The rational way to deal with alcohol is not to drink. Irrational - get drunk and try to defeat him in a state of intoxication. That is, do not get drunk, do not lose control over your mind and behavior. It is not for nothing that we have such respect for people who can drink a lot and not get drunk. And here the same scenario develops as with gambling addiction, for example - in order to prove your worth, you need to continue playing until you win. And in the case of alcohol, drink until you prove to yourself that you can be stronger than alcohol.

At a certain stage of alcoholism, such an effect is possible, but not for long. However, I'm not talking about alcoholics - it's just for them that a corporate party is not a problem. I'm talking about those who abuse rarely, but aptly. It turns out that they also struggle with alcohol in this way, but not every day, but from corporate party to corporate party. The principle is the same - in one-time corporate drunkenness there is the same element of denial of cause-and-effect relationships and psychophysiological patterns, as in alcoholism.

Trap 5 - egocentric.I behaved the worst of all - everyone condemned me and will despise me for the rest of my life.
This is a completely natural trap - we often think that the focus of other people's attention is in the same place as our focus - on ourselves. Which is unlikely - most people are naturally self-focused. And even if you staged an outstanding disgrace, the conclusion will be very one-sided that only this is all remembered. And that you must be condemned for it. Each person reacts differently. Often people, remembering the outrages that their colleagues arranged, do not so much condemn them as rejoice that it was not them themselves. The problem is that when we are ashamed of something, we project our self-condemnation onto others, we project our inner parent onto them. And it is unlikely that colleagues are in such a hurry to take on the function of your parent - they have their own inner child.

Of course, here it is worth making a reservation. There is a behavior that it will really be difficult for others to forget about - this is aggressive behavior, first of all. If you insulted someone, beat or something worse, then in this case it is important to understand that shame is such a beneficial defense against a more responsible experience - guilt. Children who cannot be held accountable for their behavior are ashamed. If we are talking about guilt, then it stimulates to a greater extent to take responsibility for one's actions than shame. The most effective way to deal with guilt is to atone for it. Apologize, compensate for the damage, bear the due responsibility.

Trap 6. Shame closes the eyes.
The problem of shame is that it draws on itself the entire mental resource - this experience is so strong. Shame hinders cognitive activity - the work of the mind. Shame makes you see the situation in a very one-sided way - it is a very self-centered emotion. Sometimes it is inevitable to plunge into shame as a natural reaction to your imperfection, to live this emotion. But it is not necessary to immerse yourself in it completely, with your head - you can remain critical if you understand that at this moment your perception and thinking are working distortedly - this is an objective reality.

But what is the conclusion to be drawn? It turns out that people purposefully regress at the coporative, plunging into semi-infantile states. But in these states there is not only bliss, but also shame. These are naturally connected experiences, and trying to get the first without the second is not always realistic. Although it is very understandable - it's also so childish, the desire "that we have everything, but there was nothing for it." With coming)

On New Year's Eve, many companies hold festive corporate parties. We relax and sometimes lose control of ourselves, as a result, often after such events we become "excruciatingly painful and ashamed" of our behavior. What to do in such a situation? And is it possible to avoid "far-reaching consequences"? Here are some recommendations.

You've gone over the alcohol

Most likely, not only you. Perhaps others did not notice that you drank too much. You don't get any complaints? Here, calm down! Do not try to make excuses, because there are simply no ideal people, and we all can sometimes "give slack".

you had too much fun

For example, they sang at the top of their lungs or danced on the table… So what? After all, a holiday is for that and a holiday to have fun. Have you done something bad or indecent? No, you just enjoyed life, why not?! As they say, business time, fun hour!

You got into a fight with a colleague

Drinking makes people behave more naturally. Sometimes it even turns into aggression. You could say to a colleague what you did not dare to say in a sober state. Word for word - and a scandal broke out!

Be sure to explain yourself when you sober up. Maybe it's worth this time to state your claims in a "calm" format. It is possible that a constructive dialogue will result.

Have you told your boss what you think of him?

You gave him the first number: for a small salary, and for overwhelming workloads, and for incompetence ...

This is probably the worst thing you could do. But if you were not fired the next day, it means that you were heard and made the right conclusions.

If you said too much to the boss, then do not rush to apologize. They can piss him off even more. Wait until the steam subsides, and then decide whether it is worth clarifying the situation.

you got into a fight with someone

If this happens, then try to discuss the situation with your ex-opponent. Either find out the reasons for the outbreak of the conflict, or, if the skirmish arose from scratch, apologize to the person.

You flirted with one of your colleagues

And it was not just courtship - you kissed, made out, and perhaps even had sex in the toilet ... Or went to one of you at home and spent the night there together.

This only applies to the two of you. It all depends on how you treat him (her). If you would like to start a relationship, but before this case you did not dare to take the first step, maybe you should continue to show signs of attention.

If you don’t have any feelings for the person, you can try to explain yourself and say that everything that happened was a mistake. If everything happened by chance at all and you both know it, then you should not draw attention to this: just pretend that nothing happened.

You said things that shouldn't have been said

For example, they admitted that they were in love with Vasya from the neighboring department or that you had an affair with Lyubochka from the accounting department ... Or they shouted loudly that your boss was sleeping with his secretary, and in the presence of his own wife!

Fortunately, people do not always listen to "drunken delirium." It’s best to pretend in the morning that you didn’t say anything like that ... And if they start pestering you with questions, say that they misunderstood you ... In a word, deny everything that has been said - it’s better to think that you were drinking some nonsense.

By the way, it also happens that your "terrible secrets" are generally of no interest to anyone. Then there is nothing to worry about!

You don't remember anything

When you try to restore the events of the evening the day before, a black hole gapes in your head. At least this applies to some part of the corporate party ...

You shouldn't worry about this. Since nothing was preserved in memory, it is not a fact that something out of the ordinary happened. Be sure: if it happened, you would surely be told about it! So act like nothing happened. But if you, on the contrary, start asking everyone about what happened to you, people will be wary.

But the best thing is not to get involved in drinking. After all, it is she who usually pushes us to rash acts. Remember that a corporate party is still not a party with friends, and if you have violated work ethics or subordination, the consequences can be very unpleasant, up to and including dismissal. Be careful!

Not everyone remembers that a holiday party at work is still a corporate event where you need to behave appropriately. If you don't want to appear tactless and then blush in front of your colleagues, remember these things and never do them at a corporate party.

Don't miss the event

You should not refuse to participate in a corporate holiday, unless you already have plans for this evening.

"You may not want to go to a corporate event, but it's important for you to show your dedication to the cause of the company," says Barbara Pachter, etiquette expert and author of The Essentials of Business Etiquette. “Your absence will not go unnoticed and will most likely be noticed by your boss or other top managers.”

Don't leave first

Of course, sooner or later someone will need to leave the event first. But for the same reason you shouldn't miss a corporate party, you shouldn't be the first guest to leave.

Don't forget to prepare your companion for the party

Very often, corporate parties are allowed to take a loved one or friend with you.

Warn your companion in advance about how to dress for the event and what topics to avoid. Make sure that the person accompanying you understands that their behavior may affect your reputation.

Don't wear inappropriate clothes

Even if the corporate party takes place outside of working hours, you should not dress like you would in a nightclub. Put on the clothes that are not embarrassing to wear to work, but since you are going to a holiday, you can decorate it a little - most importantly, do not overdo it.

"You're going to a party, but your outfit is appropriate for a corporate event," says Pachter. "Don't wear anything too short, tight or frilly."

If your company has a dress code, you should not come to a corporate party in jeans and a T-shirt, and even more so in Hello Kitty pajamas.

Get rid of the bored look

Watch your body language. If you sit looking bored or unhappy, the consequences will be almost the same as if you missed the event altogether.

“Don't frown, don't sit with an air of indifference, don't cross your arms, and don't yawn,” advises Pachter. “Someone might be watching you.”

Don't be a sociopath

Be friendly even if you despise your co-workers or you are new and don't know many people. Don't sit in a corner away from everyone, glued to your phone screen.

Don't forget to eat

Some employees forget about food and head straight to the bar because they feel like having a drink with colleagues or they don't want to risk weight for snacks.

But don't forget that if you're going to drink alcohol - even one or two glasses of wine - you'll need to eat something.

Don't get drunk

This is a very important rule that many do not follow.

“You don't have to drink, but if you do, try to stay sober,” Pachter advises. “It’s very easy to do something superfluous on a drunk head.”

Set yourself a limit on the amount of alcohol you drink and do not exceed it. Or order a drink you don't like and sip it little by little throughout the evening.

Don't gossip or say bad things about your colleagues

In conversations with colleagues, try to maintain a positive and friendly tone.

Complaining about the company or your boss will create a bad atmosphere, and gossiping about co-workers can lead to problems. It's easy to break this rule when drunk, so be careful.

Don't play with anyone

A corporate event is not the best time to flirt with your boss or his wife.

Sometimes alcohol makes people too bold, so it's best not to drink it if you are not sure that you can control yourself.

Don't have boring conversations about work

Even if the corporate party takes place in the office and there is someone from work there, it is better not to discuss business issues there.

Save your news about the project until Monday.

Don't post comments or photos online that might get you in trouble

Don't forget to come up with topics for conversation

The best way to avoid talking about gossip is to make a "plan of conversations". As Voltaire said, “he who has nothing to say always speaks badly.”

If you're planning to talk to a newbie, come up with a few questions to help start the conversation.

If you decide not to drink alcohol at an event, consider what you will say to people who ask why you don't drink. Want to chat with the CEO? Think about how you start the conversation.

“We shouldn't just discuss business,” Pachter said. - Stay up to date with current events in your community. Read newspapers, news websites, corporate blogs, and magazines about your industry."

Don't play the fool

Some people forget that a corporate party is a working event, and they go all out.

There is nothing wrong with having fun and celebrating, but you also need to think about the possible consequences of your behavior. So, if you want to sing some indecent song in karaoke, it is better to do it with close people, and not with colleagues.

Don't forget to thank the hosts of the party

Be sure to say "thank you" and say goodbye to the organizers. If you are not sure who exactly arranged the corporate party, or did not see these people at the celebration, send your thanks the next day by corporate mail.

AiF.ru collected 9 sensitive situations that often happen at corporate parties, and asked psychologist Nelly Davydova tell them how to get out of them with dignity.

1. Frankly flirted with a colleague

In this situation, everything depends on your sincere attitude towards the person. If you like him, but you were afraid to say so before, boldly continue to show signs of attention, but not very persistently. If the feelings are not mutual, try to explain yourself in order to dot the i's.

It is possible that everything turned out by chance and the colleague does not attract you at all. Then pretend that nothing happened, or turn everything into a joke.

2. Remember nothing

As the female folk wisdom says: “What I don’t remember, that didn’t happen!”. If you start to restore the events of the previous evening, know how many people, so many opinions. For some, your behavior will be the norm, for others - out of the ordinary.

There is a possibility that someone will decide to embellish the events of the past evening, add something of themselves to them to thicken the colors. In such a case, you will definitely feel ashamed and uncomfortable, although it is not a fact that everything that a colleague talks about with such enthusiasm really took place.

By the way, the situation is not ruled out that everything went more or less smoothly, then you have nothing more to remember. Fix in your head the memory of a positive, fun holiday and sleep peacefully.

3. Drank too much

Usually it is an extra glass of alcohol that leads to the fact that the next morning you are ready to fall underground. But I would recommend not to rush into mental anguish, in this situation it is better to pretend that nothing happened. If, nevertheless, colleagues begin to discuss the previous evening, turn everything into a joke. The main thing is not to shut yourself up and make excuses. We are all imperfect, with whom it does not happen! But make sure you draw your own conclusions.

4. They had wild dances

The goal of any party is unbridled fun. Take this situation philosophically. If you had fun, then the corporate party was a success. Dancing does not mean doing something indecent or bad. You just showed yourself as a cheerful, open person who has nothing to be ashamed of.

5. Got into a fight with a colleague

You should not avoid meeting a person if an open conflict has arisen between you. On the contrary, show that you are above the current situation. You can even apologize, but in a concise, dry form. Thus strengthening his position.

6. Told someone else's secret

The most correct option is to admit your guilt and repent. If the fortitude is not enough for this, you can resort to cunning and give 100 arguments for what reason you blabbed. But in conclusion, be sure to emphasize that you understand that these arguments do not relieve you of responsibility for what you have done. Psychologically, it is difficult to decide on such a step, but then there comes a feeling of lightness.

7. Engaged in a verbal altercation with one of your colleagues

With whom it does not happen, but it is necessary to explain. Perhaps your apologies will be required, or you can calmly explain the reason for the conflict, once again voice your point of view, but this time peacefully.

8. Told their own secrets

9. Tell your boss what you think about him

For non-compliance with corporate ethics and standards of decency, you should apologize! If an unpleasant conversation took place between you and your boss, be prepared for two scenarios: you can be fired at the first opportunity or left. If the boss nevertheless decides to turn a blind eye to what happened, most likely there was a point in the conflict, and your words were heard. However, in the future, try not to make such mistakes. Corporate is not the best place to sort things out, especially with the boss.