Read the adventures of the girl of faith and the monkey Anfisa. Eduard Nikolaevich Uspensky About the girl Vera and the monkey Anfisa

16.05.2021

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ABOUT FAITH AND ANFIS

First story

WHERE ANFISA COME FROM

A family lived in one city - dad, mom, girl Vera and grandmother Larisa Leonidovna. Dad and Mom were school teachers. And Larisa Leonidovna was the director of the school, but retired.

No other country in the world has so many leading teaching staff per child! And the girl Vera was supposed to become the most educated in the world. But she was moody and naughty. Either he catches the chicken and begins to swaddle, then the neighboring boy in the sandbox will crack with a scoop so that the scoop has to be taken for repairs.

Therefore, grandmother Larisa Leonidovna was always by her side - at a short distance, one meter. Like she's the bodyguard of the president of the republic.

Dad often said:

How can I teach other people's children mathematics if I can't raise my own child.

Grandma stood up:

This girl is naughty now. Because it's small. And when she grows up, she won't beat the neighbors' boys with a shovel.

She will start pounding them with a shovel, - argued dad.

Once dad was walking past the port where the ships were stationed. And he sees: one foreign sailor offers something to all passers-by in a transparent bag. And passers-by look, doubt, but they do not take it. Dad became interested, came closer. The sailor speaks to him in pure English:

Dear sir comrade, take this live monkey. She's sick all the time on our ship. And when she gets sick, she always unscrews something.

And how much will you have to pay for it? Dad asked.

Not at all necessary. On the contrary, I will also give you an insurance policy. This monkey is insured. If something happens to her: she gets sick or gets lost, the insurance company will pay you a thousand dollars for it.

Dad gladly took the monkey and gave the sailor his business card. It read:

“Matveev Vladimir Fedorovich is a teacher.

The city of Plyos on the Volga ".

And the sailor gave him his business card. It read:

“Bob Smith is a sailor.

America".

They hugged each other, patted each other on the shoulder and agreed to correspond.

Dad came home, but Vera and grandmother were gone. They played in the sandbox in the yard. Dad left the monkey and ran after them. He brought them home and said:

Look what a surprise I have prepared for you.

Grandma is surprised:

If all the furniture in the apartment is upside down, is it a surprise?

And for sure: all the stools, all the tables and even the TV - everything is upside down. And the monkey hangs on the chandelier and licks the light bulbs.

Faith will cry out:

Oh, kitty-kitty, come to me!

The monkey jumped down to her at once. They hugged like two fools, put their heads on each other's shoulder and froze with happiness.

What is her name? - asked the grandmother.

I don't know, says Dad. - Capa, Tyapa, Bug!

Only dogs are called bugs, - says the grandmother.

Let it be Murka, - says the dad, - or Dawn.

They also found a cat for me, - the grandmother argues. - And only cows are called Dawns.

Then I don't know, - dad was confused. - Then let's think.

And what is there to think about! - says the grandmother. - We in Yegoryevsk had one head of the Rono - this monkey was spitting out. Her name was Anfisa.

And they named the monkey Anfisa in honor of one manager from Yegoryevsk. And this name immediately stuck to the monkey.

In the meantime, Vera and Anfisa were unstuck from each other and, holding hands, went to the girl's room, Vera, to watch everything there. Vera began to show her dolls and bicycles.

Grandmother looked into the room. She sees - Vera walks, the large doll Lyalya is rocking. And Anfisa walks on her heels and a big truck rocks.

Anfisa is all so smart and proud. She is wearing a hat with a pompom, a T-shirt for a half-bum and rubber boots on her legs.

Granny says:

Come on, Anfisa, to feed you.

Dad asks:

With what? After all, in our city, prosperity is growing, but bananas do not grow.

What bananas are there! - says the grandmother. - Now we will conduct a potato experiment.

She put sausage, bread, boiled potatoes, raw potatoes, herring, herring peels in a piece of paper and a boiled egg in shell on the table. She put Anfisa in a high chair on wheels and says:

On your marks! Attention! March!

The monkey starts to eat. First sausage, then bread, then boiled potatoes, then raw, then herring, then herring peelings in a piece of paper, then a boiled egg in the shell right with the shell.

Before they had time to look back, Anfisa fell asleep on a chair with an egg in her mouth.

Dad took her out of the chair and sat on the couch in front of the TV. And then my mother came. Mom came and immediately said:

I know. Lieutenant Colonel Gotovkin came to see us. He brought it.

Lieutenant Colonel Gotovkin was not a military lieutenant colonel, but a police officer. He loved children very much and always gave them big toys.

What a lovely monkey. Finally we learned how to do it.

She took the monkey in her hands:

Oh, so hard. And what can she do?

That's it, - said dad.

Opens your eyes? "Mom says?

The monkey woke up as it hugs its mother! How mom will scream:

Oh, she's alive! Where is she from?

Everyone gathered around mom, and dad explained where the monkey came from and what her name was.

What breed is she? Mom asks. - What documents does she have?

Dad showed his business card:

“Bob Smith is a sailor.

The story "About Vera and Anfisa" tells about the friendship between the girl Vera and the monkey Anfisa and their adventures in the big city, in Vera's family and in the kindergarten.

The first story - WHERE ANFISA COME FROM 1

Second story - FIRST TIME TO KINDERGARTEN 1

The third story - HOW VERA AND ANFISA WALKED TO THE POLYCLINIC 3

The fourth story - VERA AND ANFISA GO TO SCHOOL 4

The fifth story - VERA AND ANFISA WAS LOST 5

Story Six - HOW FAITH AND ANFISA SERVED A TEACHING AID 6

The seventh story - VERA AND ANFISA EXTINGUISH THE FIRE (BUT FIRST THEY ARE IT ORIGINAL) 7

Eighth story - VERA AND ANFISA OPEN THE OLD DOOR 8

Story nine - LABOR DAY IN KINDERGARTEN 9

Tenth story - VERA AND ANFIS A TAKE PART IN THE PERFORMANCE "THREE MUSHKETERS" 9

Eleventh story - VERA AND ANFISA TAKE PART IN THE EXHIBITION OF CHILDREN'S DRAWING 11

GALINA LAVRENKO 12

ABOUT FAITH AND ANFIS

First story
WHERE ANFISA COME FROM

A family lived in one city - dad, mom, girl Vera and grandmother Larisa Leonidovna. Dad and Mom were school teachers. And Larisa Leonidovna was the director of the school, but retired.

Therefore, grandmother Larisa Leonidovna was always by her side - at a short distance, one meter. Like she's the bodyguard of the president of the republic.

Dad often said:

How can I teach other people's children mathematics if I can't raise my own child.

Grandma stood up:

This girl is naughty now. Because it's small. And when she grows up, she won't beat the neighbors' boys with a shovel.

She will start pounding them with a shovel, - argued dad.

Dear sir comrade, take this live monkey. She's sick all the time on our ship. And when she gets sick, she always unscrews something.

And how much will you have to pay for it? Dad asked.

Dad gladly took the monkey and gave the sailor his business card. It read:

"Matveev Vladimir Fedorovich - teacher.
The city of Plyos on the Volga ".

And the sailor gave him his business card. It read:

"Bob Smith is a sailor.
America".

They hugged each other, patted each other on the shoulder and agreed to correspond.

Dad came home, but Vera and grandmother were gone. They played in the sandbox in the yard. Dad left the monkey and ran after them. He brought them home and said:

Look what a surprise I have prepared for you.

Grandma is surprised:

If all the furniture in the apartment is upside down, is it a surprise?

And for sure: all the stools, all the tables and even the TV - everything is upside down. And the monkey hangs on the chandelier and licks the light bulbs.

Faith will cry out:

Oh, kitty-kitty, come to me!

The monkey jumped down to her at once. They hugged like two fools, put their heads on each other's shoulder and froze with happiness.

What is her name? - asked the grandmother.

I don't know, says Dad. - Capa, Tyapa, Bug!

Only dogs are called bugs, - says the grandmother.

Let it be Murka, - says the dad, - or Dawn.

They also found a cat for me, - the grandmother argues. - And only cows are called Dawns.

Then I don't know, - dad was confused. - Then let's think.

And what is there to think about! - says the grandmother. - We in Yegoryevsk had one head of the Rono - this monkey was spitting out. Her name was Anfisa.

And they named the monkey Anfisa in honor of one manager from Yegoryevsk. And this name immediately stuck to the monkey.

In the meantime, Vera and Anfisa were unstuck from each other and, holding hands, went to the girl's room, Vera, to watch everything there. Vera began to show her dolls and bicycles.

Grandmother looked into the room. She sees - Vera walks, the large doll Lyalya is rocking. And Anfisa walks on her heels and a big truck rocks.

Anfisa is all so smart and proud. She is wearing a hat with a pompom, a T-shirt for a half-bum and rubber boots on her legs.

Granny says:

Come on, Anfisa, to feed you.

Dad asks:

With what? After all, in our city, prosperity is growing, but bananas do not grow.

What bananas are there! - says the grandmother. - Now we will conduct a potato experiment.

She put sausage, bread, boiled potatoes, raw potatoes, herring, herring peels in a piece of paper and a boiled egg in shell on the table. She put Anfisa in a high chair on wheels and says:

On your marks! Attention! March!

The monkey starts to eat. First sausage, then bread, then boiled potatoes, then raw, then herring, then herring peelings in a piece of paper, then a boiled egg in the shell right with the shell.

Before they had time to look back, Anfisa fell asleep on a chair with an egg in her mouth.

Dad took her out of the chair and sat on the couch in front of the TV. And then my mother came. Mom came and immediately said:

I know. Lieutenant Colonel Gotovkin came to see us. He brought it.

Lieutenant Colonel Gotovkin was not a military lieutenant colonel, but a police officer. He loved children very much and always gave them big toys.

What a lovely monkey. Finally we learned how to do it.

She took the monkey in her hands:

Oh, so hard. And what can she do?

That's it, - said dad.

Opens your eyes? "Mom says?

The monkey woke up as it hugs its mother! How mom will scream:

Oh, she's alive! Where is she from?

Everyone gathered around mom, and dad explained where the monkey came from and what her name was.

What breed is she? Mom asks. - What documents does she have?

Dad showed his business card:

"Bob Smith is a sailor.
America".

Thank God, at least not street! - said my mother. - What does she eat?

That's it, - said the grandmother. - Even paper with cleansing.

Does she know how to use a pot?

Granny says:

Need to try. Let's do a pot experiment.

Anfisa was given a pot, she immediately put it on her head and looked like a colonizer.

Guard! - says mom. - This is a catastrophe!

Wait, says the grandmother. - We will give her a second pot.

We gave Anfisa a second pot. And she immediately guessed what to do with him.

And then everyone realized that Anfisa would live with them!

Second story
FIRST TIME TO KINDERGARTEN

In the morning, dad usually took Vera to the kindergarten in the collective to the children. And he went to work. Grandmother Larisa Leonidovna went to the neighboring housing office to lead a cutting and sewing circle. Mom went to school to teach. What to do with Anfisa?

How where? - Dad decided. - Let him also go to kindergarten.

First story

Where did Anfisa come from

A family lived in one city - dad, mom, girl Vera and grandmother Larisa Leonidovna. Dad and Mom were school teachers. And Larisa Leonidovna was the director of the school, but retired.

Therefore, grandmother Larisa Leonidovna was always by her side - at a short distance of one meter. As if she is the bodyguard of the President of the Republic.

Dad often said:

- How can I teach other people's children mathematics if I can't raise my own child!

Grandma stood up:

- This girl is now capricious. Because it's small. And when she grows up, she will not beat the neighbors' boys with a shovel.

“She’ll start pounding them with a shovel,” Dad agreed.

Once dad walked past the port where the ships are. And he sees: one foreign sailor offers something to all passers-by in a transparent bag. And passers-by look, doubt, but they do not take it. Dad became interested, came closer. The sailor speaks to him in pure English:

- Dear mister comrade, take this live monkey. She's been numb all the time on our ship. And when she gets sick, she always unscrews something.

- And how much will you have to pay for it? Dad asked.

- Not at all necessary. On the contrary, I will also give you an insurance policy. This monkey is insured. If something happens to her, whether she gets sick or gets lost, the insurance company will pay you a thousand dollars for it.

Dad gladly took the monkey and gave the sailor his business card. It read:

VLADIMIR FYODOROVICH

Plyos-na-volga town

And the sailor gave him his business card. It read:

SAILOR. AMERICA

They hugged each other, patted each other on the shoulder and agreed to correspond.

Dad came home, but Vera and grandmother were gone. They played in the sandbox in the yard. Dad left the monkey and ran after them. He brought them home and said:

- Look, what a surprise I have prepared for you.

Grandma is surprised:

- If all the furniture in the apartment is upside down, is it a surprise?

And for sure: all the stools, all the tables and even the TV - everything in the apartment is upside down. And the monkey hangs on the chandelier and licks the light bulbs.

Faith will cry out:

- Oh, kitty-kitty, come to me!

The monkey jumped down to her at once. They hugged like two fools, put their heads on each other's shoulder and froze with happiness.

- What is her name? - asked the grandmother.

“I don’t know,” Dad says. - Capa, Tyapa, Bug!

- Only dogs are called bugs, - says the grandmother.

- Let there be Murka, - says dad. - Or Dawn.

“They found a cat for me, too,” the grandmother argues. - And only cows are called Dawns.

“Then I don’t know,” Dad said, confused. - Then let's think.

- And what is there to think! - says the grandmother. - In Yegoryevsk there was one head of the RONO - this monkey. Her name was Anfisa.

And they named the monkey Anfisa in honor of one manager from Yegoryevsk. And this name immediately stuck to the monkey.

In the meantime, Vera and Anfisa were unstuck from each other and, holding hands, went to the girl's room, Vera, to watch everything there. Vera began to show her dolls and bicycles.

Grandmother looked into the room. She sees - Vera walks, the large doll Lyalya is rocking. And Anfisa walks on her heels and rocks a big truck.

Anfisa is all so smart and proud. She is wearing a hat with a pom-pom, a T-shirt for a half-bum and rubber boots on her legs.

Granny says:

- Come on, Anfisa, to feed you.

Dad asks:

- With what? After all, in our city, prosperity is growing, but bananas do not grow.

- What are the bananas there! - says the grandmother. - Now we will conduct a potato experiment.

She put sausage, bread, boiled potatoes, herring, herring peels in a piece of paper and a boiled egg in shell on the table. She put Anfisa in a high chair on wheels and says:

- On your marks! Attention! March!

The monkey will start eating! First sausage, then bread, then boiled potatoes, then raw, then herring peelings in a piece of paper, then a boiled egg in the shell right with the shell.

- Oh, she's alive! Where is she from?

Everyone gathered around mom, and dad explained where the monkey came from and what her name was.

- What breed is she? Mom asks. - What documents does she have?

Dad showed his business card:

Bob Smith. Sailor. America".

- Thank God, though not street! - said my mother. - What does she eat?

- Everything, - said the grandmother. - Even paper with cleansing.

- Does she know how to use a pot?

Granny says:

- Need to try. Let's do a pot experiment.

Anfisa was given a pot, she immediately put it on her head and looked like a colonizer.

- Help! - says mom. - This is a catastrophe!

- Wait, - says the grandmother. - We will give her a second pot.

Hello young literary critic! It's good that you decided to read the fairy tale "About Vera and Anfisa" by Eduard Uspensky in it you will find folk wisdom, which has been edified by generations. A small amount of details of the surrounding world makes the depicted world richer and more believable. Faced with such strong, strong-willed and kind qualities of the hero, you involuntarily feel the desire to transform yourself for the better. The text written in the past millennium is surprisingly easy and natural to combine with our present, its relevance has not diminished in the least. There is a balance between good and bad, tempting and necessary, and how wonderful that every time the choice is correct and responsible. Each time, reading this or that epic, one can feel the incredible love with which the images of the environment are described. An important role for children's perception is played by visual images, with which, quite successfully, this work predominates. The fairy tale "About Vera and Anfisa" Eduard Uspensky is definitely worth reading online for free, there is a lot of kindness, love and chastity in it, which is useful for raising a young individual.

And the first story WHERE ANFISA COME FROM

A family lived in one city - dad, mom, girl Vera and grandmother Larisa Leonidovna. Dad and Mom were school teachers. And Larisa Leonidovna was the director of the school, but retired.

Therefore, grandmother Larisa Leonidovna was always by her side - at a short distance, one meter. Like she's the bodyguard of the president of the republic.

Dad often said:

How can I teach other people's children mathematics if I can't raise my own child.

Grandma stood up:

This girl is naughty now. Because it's small. And when she grows up, she won't beat the neighbors' boys with a shovel.

She will start pounding them with a shovel, - argued dad.

Dear sir comrade, take this live monkey. She's sick all the time on our ship. And when she gets sick, she always unscrews something.

And how much will you have to pay for it? Dad asked.

Dad gladly took the monkey and gave the sailor his business card. It read:

“Matveev Vladimir Fedorovich is a teacher.

The city of Plyos on the Volga ".

And the sailor gave him his business card. It read:

“Bob Smith is a sailor.

America".

They hugged each other, patted each other on the shoulder and agreed to correspond.

Dad came home, but Vera and grandmother were gone. They played in the sandbox in the yard. Dad left the monkey and ran after them. He brought them home and said:

Look what a surprise I have prepared for you.

Grandma is surprised:

If all the furniture in the apartment is upside down, is it a surprise?

And for sure: all the stools, all the tables and even the TV - everything is upside down. And the monkey hangs on the chandelier and licks the light bulbs.

Faith will cry out:

Oh, kitty-kitty, come to me!

The monkey jumped down to her at once. They hugged like two fools, put their heads on each other's shoulder and froze with happiness.

What is her name? - asked the grandmother.

I don't know, says Dad. - Capa, Tyapa, Bug!

Only dogs are called bugs, - says the grandmother.

Let it be Murka, - says the dad, - or Dawn.

They also found a cat for me, - the grandmother argues. - And only cows are called Dawns.

Then I don't know, - dad was confused. - Then let's think.

And what is there to think about! - says the grandmother. - We in Yegoryevsk had one head of the Rono - this monkey was spitting out. Her name was Anfisa.

And they named the monkey Anfisa in honor of one manager from Yegoryevsk. And this name immediately stuck to the monkey.

In the meantime, Vera and Anfisa were unstuck from each other and, holding hands, went to the girl's room, Vera, to watch everything there. Vera began to show her dolls and bicycles.

Grandmother looked into the room. She sees - Vera walks, the large doll Lyalya is rocking. And Anfisa walks on her heels and a big truck rocks.

Anfisa is all so smart and proud. She is wearing a hat with a pompom, a T-shirt for a half-bum and rubber boots on her legs.

Granny says:

Come on, Anfisa, to feed you.

Dad asks:

With what? After all, in our city, prosperity is growing, but bananas do not grow.

What bananas are there! - says the grandmother. - Now we will conduct a potato experiment.

She put sausage, bread, boiled potatoes, raw potatoes, herring, herring peels in a piece of paper and a boiled egg in shell on the table. She put Anfisa in a high chair on wheels and says:

On your marks! Attention! March!

The monkey starts to eat. First sausage, then bread, then boiled potatoes, then raw, then herring, then herring peelings in a piece of paper, then a boiled egg in the shell right with the shell.

Before they had time to look back, Anfisa fell asleep on a chair with an egg in her mouth.

Dad took her out of the chair and sat on the couch in front of the TV. And then my mother came. Mom came and immediately said:

I know. Lieutenant Colonel Gotovkin came to see us. He brought it.

Lieutenant Colonel Gotovkin was not a military lieutenant colonel, but a police officer. He loved children very much and always gave them big toys.

What a lovely monkey. Finally we learned how to do it.

She took the monkey in her hands:

Oh, so hard. And what can she do?

That's it, - said dad.

Opens your eyes? "Mom says?

The monkey woke up as it hugs its mother! How mom will scream:

Oh, she's alive! Where is she from?

Everyone gathered around mom, and dad explained where the monkey came from and what her name was.

What breed is she? Mom asks. - What documents does she have?

Dad showed his business card:

“Bob Smith is a sailor.

America".

Thank God, at least not street! - said my mother. - What does she eat?

That's it, - said the grandmother. - Even paper with cleansing.

Does she know how to use a pot?

Granny says:

Need to try. Let's do a pot experiment.

Anfisa was given a pot, she immediately put it on her head and looked like a colonizer.

Guard! - says mom. - This is a catastrophe!

Wait, says the grandmother. - We will give her a second pot.

We gave Anfisa a second pot. And she immediately guessed what to do with him.

And then everyone realized that Anfisa would live with them!

Story two FIRST TIME TO KINDERGARTEN

How where? - Dad decided. - Let him also go to kindergarten.

At the entrance to the younger group stood the senior teacher Elizaveta Nikolaevna. Dad told her:

And we have an addition!

Elizaveta Nikolaevna was delighted and said:

Guys, what a joy, our Vera has a brother.

This is not a brother, - said Dad.

Dear guys, Vera has a sister in her family!

It's not a sister, ”Dad said again.

And Anfisa turned her face to Elizaveta Nikolaevna. The teacher was completely confused:

What joy. Vera had a black child in her family.

No! - says the dad. - This is not a negro.

It's a monkey! - says Vera.

And all the guys shouted:

Monkey! Monkey! Go here!

Can she go to kindergarten? Dad asks.

In a living corner?

No. Together with the guys.

This is not allowed, - says the teacher. - Maybe your monkey hangs on the bulbs? Or beats everyone with a ladle? Or maybe she likes to scatter flower pots around the room?

And you put her on a chain, - suggested the dad.

Never! - answered Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - This is so uneducated!

And so they decided. Dad will leave Anfisa in kindergarten, but he will call every hour to ask how things are. If Anfisa starts rushing with pots or running after the director with a ladle, dad will immediately take her away. And if Anfisa behaves well, sleeps like all children, then she will be left in kindergarten forever. They will be taken to the younger group.

And dad left.

The children surrounded Anfisa and began to give her everything. Natasha Grishchenkova gave her an apple. Borya Goldovsky - a typewriter. Vitalik Eliseev gave her a one-eared hare. And Tanya Fedosova - a book about vegetables.

Anfisa took it all. First with one palm, then the second, then the third, then the fourth. Since she could no longer stand, she lay down on her back and in turn began to thrust her treasures into her mouth.

Elizaveta Nikolaevna calls:

Children, to the table!

The children sat down to breakfast, and the monkey remained on the floor. And cry. Then the teacher took her and seated her at her educational table. Since Anfisa's paws were busy with gifts, Elizaveta Nikolaevna had to spoon feed her.

Finally the children had breakfast. And Elizaveta Nikolaevna said:

Today is our big medical day. I will teach you how to brush your teeth and clothes, use soap and a towel. Have everyone pick up a training toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste.

The guys took apart the brushes and tubes. Elizaveta Nikolaevna continued:

We took the tube in the left hand, and the brush in the right. Grishchenkova, Grishchenkova, no need to sweep the crumbs off the table with a toothbrush.

Anfisa lacked either a training toothbrush or a training tube. Because Anfisa was superfluous, unplanned. She saw that all the guys have such interesting sticks with bristles and such white bananas, from which white worms come out, but she does not, and whimpered.

Don't cry, Anfisa, - said Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - Here's a training jar of tooth powder. Here's a brush, study.

She began her lesson.

So, we squeezed the paste onto the brush and began to brush our teeth. Like this, from top to bottom. Marusya Petrova, right. Vitalik Eliseev, right. Faith, that's right. Anfisa, Anfisa, what are you doing? Who told you to brush your teeth on a chandelier? Anfisa, do not sprinkle us with tooth powder! Come on, come here!

Anfisa obediently got down, and they tied her to a chair with a towel so that she would calm down.

Now let's move on to the second exercise, - said Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - To clean clothes. Take clothes brushes in your hands. The powder has already been sprinkled on you.

Meanwhile, Anfisa swayed on the chair, fell with him to the floor and ran on four legs with a chair on her back. Then she climbed onto the closet and sat there, like a king on a throne.

Elizaveta Nikolaevna says to the guys:

Look, we have Queen Anfisa the First appeared. He sits on the throne. We'll have to anchor it. Well, Natasha Grishchenkova, bring me the biggest iron from the ironing room.

Natasha brought an iron. It was so big that it fell twice on the way. And they tied Anfisa to the iron with a wire from electricity. Her speed and speed immediately fell sharply. She began to waddle around the room like an old woman a century ago or like an English pirate with a cannonball on his leg in Spanish captivity in the Middle Ages.

Then the phone rang, dad asks:

Elizaveta Nikolaevna, how is my menagerie doing well?

So far it is tolerable, - says Elizaveta Nikolaevna, - we chained her to the iron.

Electric iron? Dad asks.

Electric.

No matter how she turned it on, - said dad. - After all, there will be a fire!

Elizaveta Nikolaevna hung up the phone and went to the iron as soon as possible.

And on time. Anfisa really plugged it in and looks at how smoke comes out of the carpet.

Vera, - says Elizaveta Nikolaevna, - why don't you follow your little sister?

Elizaveta Nikolaevna, - says Vera, - we all follow her. And me, and Natasha, and Vitalik Eliseev. We even held her paws. And she turned on the iron with her foot. We didn't even notice.

Elizaveta Nikolaevna bandaged the fork from the iron with an adhesive plaster, now you can't turn it on anywhere. And he says:

That's what, children, now the older group has gone to sing. This means the pool is empty. And we will go there.

Hooray! - screamed the kids and ran to grab swimsuits.

They went to the pool room. They went, and Anfisa was crying and reaching out to them. She can't walk with an iron in any way.

Then Vera and Natasha Grishchenkova helped her. Together they took the iron and carried it. And Anfisa was walking beside her.

The room where the pool was the best. There flowers grew in tubs. Lifebuoys and crocodiles lay everywhere. And the windows were up to the ceiling.

All the children started to jump into the water, only the water smoke went out.

Anfisa also wanted to go into the water. She came to the edge of the pool and fell down! Only she did not reach the water. Her iron did not start up. He was lying on the floor, and the wire did not reach the water. And Anfisa dangles near the wall. Hangs out and cries.

Oh, Anfisa, I'll help you, ”Vera said and with difficulty threw the iron off the edge of the pool. The iron went to the bottom and dragged Anfisa away.

Oh, - Vera shouts, - Elizaveta Nikolaevna, Anfisa is not emerging! Her iron won't work!

Guard! cried Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - Diving!

She was in a white coat and slippers, so she ran into the pool and jumped. First I pulled out the iron, then Anfisa.

And he says: - This furry fool has tortured me so much, as if I had unloaded three carriages of coal with a shovel.

She wrapped Anfisa in a sheet and took out all the guys from the pool.

Enough swimming! Now we will all go to the music room together and sing "Now I am Cheburashka ..."

The guys got dressed quickly, and Anfisa was so wet in the sheet and was sitting.

We came to the music room. The children stood on the long bench. Elizaveta Nikolaevna sat down on a musical stool. And Anfisa, all wrapped, was put on the edge of the piano, let her dry.

And Elizveta Nikolaevna began to play:

I was once a strange, nameless toy ...

And suddenly I heard - FUCK!

Elizaveta Nikolaevna looks around in surprise. She didn't play that FUCK. She began again:

I was once a strange, nameless toy

To which in the store ...

And suddenly again - FUCK!

"What's the matter? - thinks Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - Maybe the mouse has settled in the piano? And knocks on the strings? "

Elizaveta Nikolaevna lifted the lid and looked at the empty piano for half an hour. No mouse.

And starts playing again:

I was once strange ...

And again - FUCK, FUCK!

Wow! - says Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - Already two BLAMS have turned out. Guys, you don't know what's the matter?

The guys didn't know. And this is Anfisa, wrapped in a sheet, interfered. She will imperceptibly stick out her leg, make a BLAM on the keys and push the leg back into the sheet.

Here's what happened:

I was once strange

A nameless toy

FUCK! FUCK!

To which in the store

Nobody will fit

FUCK! FUCK! WHOOK!

BUKH happened because Anfisa turned her head and collapsed from the piano. And everyone immediately understood where these BLAM-BLAMS were pouring from.

After that, there was a certain lull in the life of the kindergarten. Either Anfiska was tired of being tricky, or everyone was watching her very carefully, but at dinner she did not throw anything away. Except that she ate soup with three tablespoons. Then she slept quietly with everyone. True, she slept on the closet. But with a sheet and a pillow, everything is as it should be. She did not scatter any pots of flowers around the room and did not run after the director with a chair.

Elizaveta Nikolaevna even calmed down. It's just early. Because after the afternoon tea there was an art carving. Elizaveta Nikolaevna told the guys:

And now we will all take scissors together and cut collars and hats out of cardboard.

The guys went together to take cardboard and scissors from the table. Anfisa did not have enough cardboard or scissors. After all, Anfisa, as unplanned, remained unplanned.

We take cardboard and cut out a circle. That's it, - Elizaveta Nikolaevna showed.

And all the guys, sticking out their tongues, began to cut out circles. They made not only circles, but also squares, triangles and pancakes.

Where are my scissors ?! cried Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - Anfisa, show me your palms!

Anfisa gladly showed her black palms, in which there was nothing. And hid her hind legs behind her back. The scissors were there, of course. And while the guys cut out their circles and visors, Anfisa also cut holes from the material at hand.

Everyone was so carried away by hats and collars that they did not notice how the hour passed and the parents began to come.

They took Natasha Grishchenkova, Vitalik Eliseev, Borya Goldovsky. And so Vera's dad came, Vladimir Fedorovich.

How are mine?

Good, - says Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - Both Vera and Anfisa.

Has Anfisa really done nothing?

How did you not do it? She did it, of course. I sprinkled everyone with tooth powder. I almost started a fire. I jumped into the pool with an iron. Swinging on the chandelier.

So you don't take it?

Why don't we take it? Take it! - said the teacher. - Right now we are cutting circles, but she does not bother anyone.

She stood up and everyone saw that her skirt was in circles. And her long legs sparkle from all circles.

Oh! - said Elizaveta Nikolaevna and even sat down. And dad took Anfisa and took the scissors away from her. They were in her hind legs.

Oh, you stuffed animal! - he said. - She ruined her own happiness. You have to sit at home.

You won't have to, - said Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - We are taking her to kindergarten.

And the guys jumped, galloped, hugged. So they fell in love with Anfisa.

Just be sure to bring a doctor's note! - said the teacher. - Without a certificate, not a single child will go to kindergarten.

The third story HOW VERA AND ANFISA WALKED TO THE POLYCLINIC

While Anfisa did not have a doctor's certificate, she was not taken to kindergarten. She stayed at home. And Vera sat with her at home. And, of course, grandmother was sitting with them.

True, the grandmother was not so much sitting as she was running around the house. Now to the bakery, then to the deli for sausage, then to the fish store for herring peelings. Anfisa loved these cleaning more than any herring.

And then Saturday came. Pope Vladimir Fedorovich did not go to school. He took Vera and Anfisa and went to the clinic with them. Get help.

He led Vera by the hand, and decided to put Anfisa in a carriage for disguise. So that the children's population from all micro-districts does not run away.

If one of the guys noticed Anfiska, then a line was lined up behind her, like for oranges. Painfully, the guys in the city loved Anfiska. But she, too, did not waste time. While the guys were spinning around her, taking her in their arms, passing them to each other, she put her paws into their pockets and pulled out everything from there. He hugs the child with his front paws, and cleans the child's pockets with his hind legs. And she hid all the little things in cheek pouches. At home, erasers, badges, pencils, keys, lighters, gum, coins, pacifiers, key chains, cartridges and penknives were taken out of her mouth.

So they came to the clinic. We went inside, into the lobby. Everything around is white and glassy. On the wall hangs a funny story in glass frames: what happened to one boy when he ate poisonous mushrooms.

And another story is about an uncle who healed himself with folk remedies: dried spiders, fresh nettle lotions and a heating pad from an electric kettle.

Vera says:

Oh, what a funny guy! He is a patient himself, but he smokes.

Dad explained to her:

He doesn't smoke. It was under his blanket that a heating pad was boiling.

Suddenly dad shouted:

Anfisa, Anfisa! Don't lick the posters! Anfisa, why did you stick into the urn ?! Vera, take a broom and sweep Anfisa, please.

A huge palm tree stood by the window in a tub. Anfisa, as she saw her, rushed to her. She hugged a palm tree and stood in a tub. Dad tried to take her away - no way!

Anfisa, please let go of the palm tree! - Dad says sternly.

Anfisa does not let go.

Anfisa, Anfisa! - Dad says even more severely. - Let go, please, dad.

Anfisa and dad will not let go. And her hands are like a vice made of iron. Then a doctor came to the noise from a neighboring office.

What's the matter? Come on, monkey, let go of the tree!

But the monkey would not let go of the tree. The doctor tried to unhook it - and he stuck. Dad says even stricter:

Anfisa, Anfisa, please let dad go, please let go of the palm tree, please let go of the doctor.

Nothing works. Then the chief doctor came.

What's the matter here? Why a round dance around a palm tree? We have a palm New Year? Ah, here the monkey keeps everyone! We'll unhook it now.

After that, dad already spoke like this:

Anfisa, Anfisa, let go, please, dad, let go of the palm tree, let go, please, the doctor, let go, please, the chief physician.

Vera took and tickled Anfisa. Then she released everyone except the palm tree. She hugged the palm tree with all four paws, pressed her cheek to it and cries.

The chief physician said:

I was recently in Africa for a cultural exchange. There I saw many palm trees and monkeys. There, a monkey sits on each palm tree. They are used to each other. And there are no trees at all. And protein.

A simple doctor asked dad:

Why did you bring the monkey to us? She's ill?

No, my dad says. - She needs a certificate in kindergarten. It needs to be investigated.

How are we going to investigate it, - says a simple doctor, - if it does not leave the palm tree?

So we will investigate, without leaving the palm tree, - said the chief physician. - Call the main specialists and heads of departments here.

And soon all the doctors approached the palm tree: the therapist, the surgeon, and the ear, nose and throat. First, Anfisa's blood was taken for analysis. She behaved very bravely. She calmly gave her finger and watched as blood was taken from her finger through a glass tube.

Then her pediatrician listened through rubber tubes. He said that Anfisa was as healthy as a little train.

Then Anfisa had to take X-ray. But how can you lead her if she is not torn from the palm tree? Then dad and the doctor from the X-ray room brought Anfisa with a palm tree to the office. They put it together with a palm tree under the apparatus, and the doctor says:

Breathe. Don't breathe.

Only Anfisa does not understand. On the contrary, she breathes like a pump. The doctor was very worried about her. Then as he shouts:

Fathers, she has a nail in her stomach !! And one more! And further! Are you feeding her with nails ?!

Dad replies:

We do not feed her with nails. And we ourselves do not eat.

Where did she get the nails? - the X-ray doctor thinks. - And how to get them out of it?

Then he decided:

Let's give her a magnet on a string. The nails will stick to the magnet, and we will pull them out.

No, my dad says. - We will not give her a magnet. She lives with nails - and nothing. And if she swallows a magnet, it is still not known what will come of it.

At this time, Anfisa suddenly climbed up the palm tree. She climbed up some shiny thing to twist, but the nails remained in place. And then the doctor understood:

The same nails were not in Anfisa, but in the palm tree. On them the nanny hung her dressing gown and a bucket at night. - He says: - Thank God, your engine is healthy!

After that, Anfisa with a palm tree was again brought to the hall. And all the doctors gathered for the consultation. They decided that Anfisa was very healthy and that she could go to kindergarten.

The head doctor wrote a certificate to her right next to the tub and said:

That's all. You can go.

And dad answers:

Can not. Because our Anfisa from your palm tree can only be torn off by a bulldozer.

How to be? - says the chief physician.

I don't know, says Dad. - We'll either have to Anfisa, or you part with a palm tree.

The doctors all together stood in a circle, like a KVN team, and began to think.

We must take a monkey - and that's it! the X-ray doctor said. - She will be the watchman at night.

We will sew her a white robe. And she will help us! - said the pediatrician.

Yes, - said the head physician. - She will grab you a syringe with an injection, we will all run after her down all the stairs and attics. And then she will fall off the curtain with this syringe on some dad. And if she runs into some class or kindergarten with this syringe, and even in a white coat!

If she is in a white coat, with a syringe, she just walks along the boulevard, all our old women and passers-by will instantly be in the trees, - said Dad. - Give your palm tree to our monkey.

At this time, grandmother Larisa Leonidovna came to the clinic. She waited, waited for Vera and Anfisa. They weren't there. She was worried. And she immediately said to the chief doctor:

If you take the monkey, I'll stay with you too. I cannot live without Anfisa.

That's good, - says the chief doctor. - This decides everything. We just need a cleaning lady. Here's a fountain pen, write a statement.

Nothing, he says. - I'll open an office now, I have another one there.

He just looks - there is no key. Dad explains to him:

He opened Anfisa's mouth and, with a habitual movement, took out a fountain pen, a key to the chief doctor's office, a key to the office where the X-ray was, a round seal for information, a round ear-throat-nose doctor's mirror and his own lighter.

As the doctors saw it all, they said:

We have enough of our own troubles to make our seals disappear! Take your monkey with our palm tree. We will grow ourselves a new one. Our chief physician travels to Africa every year for cultural exchange. He will bring the seeds.

Dad and the radiologist lifted the palm tree together with Anfisa and put it in the wheelchair. So the palm tree in the carriage drove off. When my mother saw the palm tree, she said:

According to my botanical information, this palm is called Nephrolepis broadleaf velvet. And it grows mainly in the spring, one meter per month. Soon it will sprout upstairs to the neighbors. And we will have a multi-storey Nephrolepis. Our Anfisa will climb this palm tree on all apartments and floors. Sit down to dinner, herring peelings have been on the table for a long time.

The fourth story VERA AND ANFISA GO TO SCHOOL

Grandmother Larisa Leonidovna was completely exhausted with Vera and Anfisa until they went to kindergarten. She said:

When I was the headmaster of the school, I had a rest.

She had to get up before everyone else, cook breakfast for the kids, walk with them, bathe them, play with them in the sandbox.

She continued:

My whole life has been hard: it is devastation, then temporary difficulties. And now it has become very difficult.

She never knew what to expect from Vera and Anfisa. Let's say she cooks soup in milk. And Anfisa sweeps the floor on the closet. And grandmother's soup turns out to be garbage, not milk.

And yesterday this is how it was. Yesterday I undertook to wash the floors, I poured everything with water. Anfisa began to try on her mother's scarves. She had no other time. She threw her handkerchiefs on the floor, they became wet and turned into rags. I had to wash the scarves, Vera, and Anfisa. And my strength is not the same. I'd rather go to the station as a loader ... to carry sacks of cabbage.

Mom calmed her down:

One more day, and they will go to the kindergarten. We have a health certificate, we only need to buy shoes and an apron.

Finally we bought shoes and an apron. And dad, early in the morning, Vera and Anfisa solemnly took them to kindergarten. Rather, it was Vera who was taken, and Anfisa was carried in a bag.

They came up and saw that the kindergarten was solemnly closed. And the inscription hangs big, very large:

"KINDERGARTEN CLOSED ON PIPE BREAKTHROUGH"

It would be necessary to take the children and animals home again. But then the grandmother will run away from the house. And dad said to himself:

And I'll take them with me to school! And I will be calm, and entertainment for them.

He took the girl by the hand, ordered Anfisa to get into the bag - and went. Only feels that the bag is heavy. It turned out that Vera climbed into the bag, and Anfisa was walking outside, barefoot. Papa shook Vera out and put Anfisa in her bag. So it became more convenient.

Other teachers approached the school with their children, and the manager Antonov with his grandchildren Antonchiks. They also went to this pipe-breaking kindergarten. There were a lot of children - ten people, a whole class. All around the schoolchildren are very important walking or running around like crazy. Children stuck to their dads and moms - do not peel off. And teachers have to go to lessons.

Then the oldest teacher Serafima Andreevna said:

We will take all the children to the teacher's room. And we will ask Pyotr Sergeevich to sit with them. He has no lessons, but he is an experienced teacher.

And the children were taken to the teacher's room to Pyotr Sergeevich. It was the headmaster of the school. He was a very experienced teacher. Because he immediately said:

Guard! Not that!

But the parents and Serafima Andreevna began to ask:

Pyotr Sergeevich, please. Just two hours!

The bell rang at the school, and the teachers ran to their classes to give lessons. Pyotr Sergeevich stayed with the kids. He immediately gave them toys: pointers, a globe, a collection of minerals from the Volga region and something else. Anfisa grabbed the alcoholized frog and began to examine it with horror.

And so that the kids did not get bored, Pyotr Sergeevich began to tell them a fairy tale:

Baba Yaga lived in one Ministry of Public Education ...

Vera immediately said:

Oh, scary!

Not yet, said the director. - She once wrote herself a business trip, got on a broomstick and flew to a small town.

Vera says again:

Oh, scary!

Nothing of the kind, ”says the director. - She flew not to our city, but to another ... To Yaroslavl ... She flew to one school, came to elementary grades ...

Oh, scary! Vera continued.

Yes, scary, - the director agreed. - And he says: “Where is your plan of extracurricular activities for elementary school students? !! Let him come here, or I'll eat you all! "

Vera wrinkled her face like a peach bone to cry. But the director had time before:

Don't cry, girl, she ate nobody!

Nobody. All remained intact. I didn't even eat the principal at this school ... How sensitive are you, kindergarteners! If fairy tales scare you, what will the truth of life do to you ?!

After that, Pyotr Sergeevich handed out books and notebooks to the kindergarteners. Read, watch, study, draw.

Anfisa got a very interesting book: "The plan of pioneering work of the 6th" A "". Anfisa read, read ... Then she didn't like something, and she ate this plan.

Then she didn't like the fly. This fly knocked on the window all over, wanted to break it. Anfisa grabbed the pointer - and followed it. The fly sat down on the light bulb, Anfisa grabbed like a fly! .. It became dark in the teacher's room. The children screamed and became agitated. Pyotr Sergeevich realized that the time had come for decisive measures. He took the children out of the teacher's room and began to shove one child into each class. In the classes, such a joy began. Imagine, only the teacher said: "Now we will write a dictation", and then the child is pushed into the classroom.

All the girls groan:

Oh, how small! Oh, how scared! Boy, boy, what's your name?

The teacher says:

Marusya, Marusya, whose are you? Have you been thrown up on purpose or have you lost your way?

Maroussia herself is not exactly sure, so she begins to wrinkle her nose to cry. Then the teacher took her in his arms and said:

Here's a piece of chalk, draw a kitty in the corner. And we will write a dictation.

Maroussia, of course, began to scribble in the corner of the board. Instead of a cat, she got a snuffbox with a tail. And the teacher began to dictate: “Autumn has come. All the children were in the house. One boat was sailing in a cold puddle ... "

Pay attention, children, to the endings of the words "in the house", "in a puddle."

And then Maroussia will cry.

What are you, girl?

Sorry for the ship.

So it was not possible to carry out the dictation in the fourth "B".

In the fifth "A" geography was. And the fifth "A" got Vitalik Eliseev. He did not make noise, did not shout. He listened very carefully to everything about volcanoes. And then he asked the teacher Grishchenkova:

Bulkan - does he make rolls?

Vera and Anfisa were thrust into teacher Valentin Pavlovich Vstovsky for a zoology lesson. He told fourth-graders about the fauna of central Russia. He said:

Anfisa is not found in our forests. We have moose, wild boars and deer. Beavers are among the clever animals. They live by small rivers and know how to build dams and huts.

Vera listened very attentively and looked at the pictures of animals on the walls.

Anfisa also listened very attentively. And she thought:

“What a beautiful handle on the cabinet. How can I lick her? "

Valentin Pavlovich began to talk about domestic animals. He told Vera:

Vera, name us a pet.

Vera immediately said:

The teacher tells her:

Why an elephant? An elephant in India is a pet, and you name ours.

Vera is silent and puffs. Then Valentin Pavlovich began to prompt her:

Here at my grandmother's house lives such an affectionate one with a mustache.

Vera immediately understood:

Cockroach.

No, not a cockroach. And such an affectionate man lives at his grandmother's house ... with a mustache and a tail.

Vera then finally figured everything out and said:

Granddad.

All the schoolchildren crashed. Valentin Pavlovich himself could not resist and smiled with restraint.

Thank you, Vera, and you, Anfisa, thank you. You made our lesson very lively.

And two Antonchiks were thrust into Vera's dad's arithmetic lesson - the grandchildren of Antonov's manager.

Dad immediately put them into action.

A pedestrian goes from point A to point B. Here you are ... what's your name?

You, Alyosha, will be a pedestrian. And a truck is going to meet him from point B to point A ... What is your name?

Seryozha Antonov!

You, Seryozha Antonov, will be a truck. Well, how are you rattling?

Seryozha Antonov rattled beautifully. I almost ran over Alyosha. The pupils instantly solved the problem. Because everything became clear: how the truck was driving, how the pedestrian was walking, and that they would not meet in the middle of the road, but near the first school desk. Because the truck is going twice as fast.

Everything would be fine, but then a commission from the rono drove up to the school. People came to check the work of the school.

They drove up, and the silence from the school comes like steam from an iron. They were immediately alert. They were two aunts and one quiet boss with a briefcase. One aunt was as long as two. And the other is low and round, like four. Her face was round, her eyes were round, and all other parts of her body were like a compass.

Long aunt says:

How could it be that the school was so quiet? I have not seen this in my long life.

The quiet boss suggested:

Maybe a flu epidemic is happening now? And all the schoolchildren are sitting at home? Rather, they lie as one.

There is no epidemic, - the round aunt answers. - This year the flu was canceled altogether. I read it in the newspapers. Our world's best doctors bought a new medicine and gave everyone injections. Whoever was injected has not had the flu for five years.

Then the long aunt thought:

Maybe there is a collective absenteeism and all the guys, as one, ran away to the movies to watch "Doctor Aibolit"? Or maybe the teachers go to lessons with clubs, all the students have been intimidated and the children are sitting quiet as mice?

We must go and see, - said the chief. - One thing is clear: if the school is so quiet, then the school is not in order.

They entered the school and thrust themselves into the first class they came across. They look, there the guys surrounded Borya Goldovsky and educate:

Why are you, boy, so unwashed?

I ate chocolate.

Why are you, boy, so dusty?

I climbed onto the closet.

Why are you boy so sticky?

I was sitting on a bottle of glue.

Come on boy, we'll get you in order. Let's wash, comb, clean the jacket.

The commission, represented by a long aunt, asks:

Why is it an outsider in your class?

The teacher in this class was Verina's mother. She says:

This is not an outsider. This is a tutorial. We have an extracurricular activity going on now. Labor lesson.

This time the commission, in the face of a round aunt, asks again:

What is an extracurricular activity? What is it called?

Verina's mother, Natalya Alekseevna, says:

It is called "Caring for a younger brother."

The commission immediately stalled and quieted down. And the quiet boss asks:

And that this lesson is going on throughout the school?

Of course. We even have a slogan, such as an appeal: "Caring for your little brother is useful for all guys!"

The commission finally calmed down. Quietly, so on tiptoe to the director in the teacher's room.

There is silence and grace in the teacher's room. The tutorials are everywhere as expected. And the director sits and fills out the statements for the students.

The quiet boss said:

We congratulate you. You came up with a great idea with your younger brother. We will now begin such a movement in all schools.

And the long aunt said:

With a younger brother, it's all great. How are you doing with extracurricular activities? Give me the "Plan of extracurricular activities for elementary school students" soon.

Pyotr Sergeevich wrinkled his face like a peach bone.

The fifth story VERA AND ANFISA LOST

Mom and Dad Vera and their grandmother had a very nice apartment - three rooms and a kitchen. And grandmother swept these rooms all the time. She will sweep one room, put everything in its place, and Vera and Anfisa will lead to another mess. Toys are scattered, furniture is turned over.

It was good when Vera and Anfisa were drawing. Only Anfisa had the habit of grabbing a pencil and starting to draw on the ceiling, sitting on a chandelier. She got such kalyaks - you will admire. After each session, at least anew, the ceiling was whitewashed. Therefore, the grandmother with a brush and toothpaste after her drawing lessons did not get off the stepladder.

Then they came up with a pencil for Anfisa on a string to tie to the table. She very quickly learned to bite the rope. The rope for the chain was replaced. Things went better. The maximum harm was that Anfisa ate the pencil and painted her mouth in different colors: then red, then green, then orange. As she smiles with such a multi-colored mouth, it immediately seems that she is not a monkey, but an alien.

But all the same, everyone loved Anfisa very much ... It's not even clear why.

One day grandma says:

Vera and Anfisa, you are already big! Here's a ruble, go to the bakery. Buy bread - half a loaf and a whole loaf.

Vera was very glad that she was given such an important assignment, and jumped for joy. Anfisa also jumped, because Vera jumped.

I have a little change, - said the grandmother. - Here's twenty-two kopecks for a loaf and sixteen for a loaf of black.

Vera took the loaf money in one hand, and the loaf money in the other and went. She was very afraid to confuse them.

In the bakery, Vera began to think which loaf to take - plain or with raisins. And Anfisa immediately grabbed two loaves, and then began to think: “Oh, how comfortable! Whom would they punch in the head with? "

Vera says:

You cannot touch and wave bread with your hands. Bread must be respected. Well, put it back!

And Anfisa does not remember where she got them. Vera herself then put them in their place and then thinks what to do with her - her grandmother did not tell her anything about raisins.

The cashier walked away for a second. Here Anfisa will jump to her place, as she will start issuing checks to everyone in kilometers.

People look at her and don't recognize:

Look how our Maria Ivanovna has dried up! How difficult it is for cashiers in trade!

Vera saw Anfisa at the checkout and immediately took her out of the store:

You do not know how to behave like a person. Sit here punished.

And hooked her paw to the rail by the shop window. And to this handrail the dog was tied to an unknown breed. Rather, all breeds together. Anfisa and let's get out in front of this dog.

The cat came out of the store. And the dog could not stand cats with all its breeds. Not only was the cat walking, but she was also so important, as if she were the director of a store or the head of the department for the sale of sausages.

She narrowed her eyes and looked at the dog like that, as if it were not a dog, but what kind of accessory, a stump or a stuffed animal.

The dog could not stand it, clutched at his heart from such disdain and how it will rush after the cat! She even tore off the handrail from the store. And Anfisa held on to the handrail, and Vera grabbed onto Anfisa. And they all run together.

Actually, Vera and Anfisa were not going to run anywhere, it just happened.

Here is a procession rushing down the street - in front of a cat, no longer so squinted and important, behind it is a dog of all breeds, a leash behind it, then a handrail, which Anfisa holds on to, and Vera runs after Anfisa, barely keeping up with her loaves in a string bag.

Vera runs and is afraid to hook some grandmother with her string bag. She did not hook her grandmother, and one middle school student caught her under a hot string bag.

And he, too, ran after them somehow sideways, although he was not going to run anywhere.

Suddenly the cat saw a fence in front of it, and a hole in the fence for chickens. The cat is there yurk! The dog with the handrail behind it, and Vera and Anfisa did not fit into the hole, they knocked on the fence and stopped.

The middle school student unhooked from them and, grumbling something middle school, left to do his homework. And Vera and Anfisa were left alone in the middle of the big city.

Vera thinks: “It's good that we have bread with us. We will not die right away. "

And they went wherever they looked. And their eyes looked mainly at the swing and various posters on the walls.

Here they are walking, not in a hurry, holding hands, examining the city. And we ourselves are a little scared: where is the house? Where is Dad? Where is mom? Where is grandma with lunch? Nobody knows. And Vera begins to cry and sob a little.

And then a policeman approached them:

Hello young citizens! Where are you going?

Vera answers him:

We go in all directions.

Where are you coming from? - the policeman asks.

We go from the bakery, - says Vera, and Anfisa shows a loaf in a string bag.

But do you even know your address?

Of course we do.

What is your street?

Vera thought for a moment, and then says:

Pervomayskaya street named after May Day on the Oktyabrskoye highway.

I see, - says the policeman, - and what is the house?

Brick, says Vera, with all the comforts.

The policeman thought for a moment, and then says:

I know where to look for your house. Such soft loaves are sold only in one bakery. In Filippovskaya. This is on the Oktyabrskoe highway. Let's go there, and we'll see.

He took his radio transmitter in hand and said:

Hello, duty officer, I found two children here in the city. I'll take them home. I will temporarily leave my booth. Send someone instead of me.

The officer on duty answered him:

I will not send anyone. I have half a division on potatoes. Nobody will take your booth away. Let it stand.

And they went through the city. The policeman asks:

I can, - says Vera.

What is written here? - he pointed to one poster on the wall.

Vera read:

“For younger students! "The thick-pepper boy" ".

And this boy was not thick-pepper, but gutta-percha, rubber means.

Aren't you a junior high school girl? the policeman asked.

No, I go to kindergarten. I am a horsewoman. And Anfisa is a rider.

Suddenly Vera cried out:

Oh, this is our home! We have come a long time ago!

They went up to the third floor and stood at the door.

How many times to call? - the policeman asks.

We don’t reach the bell, ”says Vera. - We knock with our feet.

The policeman knocked his feet. Grandma looked out and how scared she would be:

They've already been arrested! What have they done?

No, granny, they haven't done anything. They got lost. Receive and sign. And I went.

No, no, no! - said the grandmother. - What impolite! I have soup on the table. Sit down with us to eat. And drink tea.

The policeman was even confused. He was brand new. They were not told anything about this at the police school. They were taught what to do with criminals: how to take them, where to take them. And they didn't say anything about soup or tea with grandmothers.

He still stayed and sat on pins and needles, and listened to his walkie-talkie. And on the radio they said all the time:

Attention! Attention! All posts! On a suburban highway, a bus with pensioners drove into a ditch. Send a towing truck.

More attention. A free car is asked to drive up to the street of the writer Chekhov. There, two old women were carrying a suitcase and sat on the road.

Granny says:

Oh, what interesting radio programs you have. More interesting than on TV and Mayak.

And the radio again says:

Attention! Attention! Attention! The towing truck is canceled. The pensioners themselves pulled the bus out of the ditch. And the grandmothers are all right. A detachment of schoolchildren passing by carried their suitcases and grandmothers to the station. Everything is fine.

Then everyone remembered that Anfisa had been gone for a long time. They looked, and she was spinning in front of the mirror, trying on a police cap.

At this time, the radio says:

Policeman Matveenko! What are you doing? Are you on duty?

Our policeman stretched out and said:

I am always on duty! Now we are milking the second and heading to my booth.

The second you will finish at home! the attendant told him. - Return to the post immediately. Now the American delegation will go by. We must give them a green street.

Understood the hint! - said our policeman.

This is not a hint! That's an order! - the duty officer answered sternly.

And the policeman Matveenko went to his post.

Since then Vera has learned her address by heart: Pervomaisky lane, house 8. Near the Oktyabrskoe highway.

The sixth story HOW FAITH AND ANFISA WERE A TEACHING AID

They were never bored in the house. Anfisa asked everyone to work. It will crawl into the refrigerator and get out all covered in hoarfrost. Grandma shouts:

White devil from the fridge!

Then he will climb into the closet with clothes and come out in a new outfit: a jacket elongated to the ground, a scarf on bare feet, a knitted hat in the shape of a woman's sock, and above all this a bra shortened in the form of a belt.

How she gets out of the closet in this outfit, how she walks across the carpet with the look of a European fashion model, wagging all her paws - at least stand still, at least fall! And it takes a whole hour to put things in order in the closet.

Therefore, Vera and Anfisa were put out on the street as soon as possible. Dad often went out with them.

Once dad walked with Vera and Anfisa in the children's park. Daddy's friend, the teacher of zoology, Valentin Pavlovich Vstovsky, walked with them. And his daughter Olga was walking.

The dads talked like two English lords, and the children galloped in different directions. Then Anfisa took both dads by the hands and began to swing on the dads, as on a swing.

A salesman with balloons walked in front. How Anfisa sways, how she grabs the balls! The seller got scared and threw the balls. Anfisa was carried on the balls along the alley. Barely dads caught up with her and unhooked from the balls. And three burst balls had to be bought from the seller. It's a shame to buy burst balloons. But the seller almost did not swear.

Here Valentin Pavlovich says to dad:

You know what, Vladimir Fedorovich, please give me Vera and Anfisa for one lesson. I want to give a lecture to sixth graders about human origins.

Dad answers this:

I'll give you Anfisa, and take your daughter. You have the same.

And not at all, - says Vstovsky. - Mine does not differ at all from the monkey. You see, they both hang upside down on a branch. And your Vera is a strict girl. It is immediately obvious that she is smarter than a monkey. And there will be great benefits for science.

For this benefit, the Pope agreed. Just asked:

What will the lecture be?

Here's what. Bananas were brought to our city. I'll put a banana on the table, Anfisa will grab it right away, and Vera will sit quietly. I will tell the guys: “You see, what is the difference between a man and a monkey? He thinks, and thinks not only about bananas, but also about how to behave - after all, there are people around. "

A convincing example, - said the Pope.

And bananas were really brought to the city, for the second time in this five-year period.

It was just a celebration for the city.

Indeed, all the people in the city were buying bananas. Some in a string bag, some in a plastic bag, some just in their pockets.

And all the people came to the house of Vera's parents and said: “We don't really need these bananas, and your Anfisa will disappear without them. She misses bananas as we miss pickles. "

Eat, eat, girl ... that is, a little animal!

Dad put bananas in the refrigerator, mom made jam from them, and grandmother Larisa Leonidovna dried them over the stove like mushrooms.

And when Vera stretched her hands to the bananas, she was sternly told:

This is not for you, it was brought to Anfisa. You can do without bananas, but she is not very good.

Anfisa was literally stuffed with bananas. And she went to bed with a banana in her mouth and a banana in each paw.

And in the morning they were taken to a lecture.

In the class there was a smart teacher Vstovsky and two whole classes of sixth graders. On the wall were all sorts of posters on the theme: "Is there life on Earth, and where did it come from."

These were posters of our incandescent planet, then a cooled planet, then a planet covered with an ocean. Then there were drawings of all marine micro-life, the first fish, monsters crawling out onto land, pterodactyls, dinosaurs and other representatives of the ancient zoo corner of the Earth. In short, it was a whole poem about life.

The teacher Valentin Pavlovich put Vera and Anfisa at his table and began the lecture.

Guys! There are two creatures sitting in front of you. Man and Monkey. Now we will conduct an experiment. To see the difference between a man and a monkey. So I take a banana out of my portfolio and put it on the table. See what happens.

He took out a banana and put it on the table. And then came the delicate moment. Monkey Anfisa turned away from the banana, and Vera turned away from it!

The teacher Vstovsky was shocked. He had never expected such an act from Vera. But the prepared question escaped his lips:

What, guys, is the difference between a man and a monkey?

The guys immediately shouted:

A person thinks faster!

The teacher Vstovsky sat down on the front desk facing the blackboard and grabbed his head. Guard! But at that moment Vera peeled a banana and held out a piece to Anfisa. The teacher was immediately resurrected:

No, guys, not so a person differs from a monkey in that he thinks faster, but in what he thinks about others. He cares about others, about friends, about comrades. Man is a collective being.

He turned to the class.

Well, let's all look at the posters! Tell me, who does Pithecanthropus look like?

The guys immediately shouted:

To the manager of Antonov!

No. He looks like a man. He already has an ax in his hands. And the ax is already a means of collective labor. They cut trees for the house, branches for the fire. People around the fire are all warming up together, singing songs. Scientists say that labor created man. They are wrong. The team created the person!

The schoolchildren even opened their mouths. Wow - their school teacher knows more than scientists!

And primitive people look at sixth graders and, it seems, tell them about themselves.

So what is the difference between a man and a monkey? - asked the teacher Vstovsky.

There was the most stupid boy in the class, but the most nimble, Vasya Ermolovich. He is screaming:

The monkey sits in the zoo, and the man goes to the zoo!

Do you have any other opinions?

There is! - shouted a solid C grade student Pasha Gutiontov. - A person is brought up by a collective, and a monkey is brought up by nature.

Well done! - the teacher Vstovsky calmed down. If a solid C grade student has mastered the material, others will surely learn, or later, later, they will understand.

Thank you, Vera and Anfisa!

And the class filled Vera and Anfisa with gifts: lighters, chewing gum, ballpoint pens, a pistol with suction cups, erasers, pencil cases, glass balls, light bulbs, a nut, a bearing and other gizmos.

Vera and Anfisa came home. Still: because of them, a whole lecture was read! Because of this importance, they forgot about all sorts of ugliness and behaved well all day until evening. And then it started again! They slept in the closet.

The seventh story VERA AND ANFISA EXTINGUISH THE FIRE (BUT FIRST THEY ARE IT ORIGINAL)

Dad and Mom worked at school on Saturdays. Because schoolchildren, the poor, study on Saturdays ... And the kindergarten did not work on Saturdays. Therefore, Vera and Anfisa were at home with her grandmother.

They loved to sit at home with their grandmother on Saturdays. It was mostly my grandmother who was sitting, and they were jumping and climbing all the time. And they also loved watching TV. And play what is shown on TV.

For example, a grandmother sits and sleeps in front of the TV, and Vera and Anfisa are bandaging her to a chair with duct tape. So the film is about a spy life.

If Anfisa is sitting on the closet, and Vera is shooting back from her with a broom from under the bed, it means that a film about the war is being shown. And if Vera and Anfisa are dancing the dance of little swans, it is clear that there is a concert of amateur performances.

One Saturday a very interesting program was: "Hide matches from children." Program about fires.

Anfisa saw the beginning of the program, went to the kitchen and found matches, and immediately stuck it behind her cheek.

The matches have become wet, you can't make any fire with them. They cannot even ignite the gas. For getting the matches wet it can fly in from the grandmother.

Vera says:

Let's dry.

She took an electric iron and began to drive on matches. The matches dried up, caught fire and started smoking. Grandma woke up in front of the TV. He sees there is a fire on the TV, and the house smells of smoke. She thought, “This is where technology has come! On TV, not only the color is transmitted, but also the smell ”.

The fire grew. It became quite hot in the house. Grandma woke up again:

Oh, - he says, - they are already transmitting the temperature!

And Vera and Anfisa hid under the bed from fright. Grandmother ran to the kitchen, began to carry water with pans. She poured a lot of water - three pots, but the fire does not subside. Grandmother began to call dad at school:

Oh, we have a fire!

Dad answers her:

We also have a fire. Three commissions came in large numbers. From the region, from the district and from the center. Progress and attendance are checked.

My grandmother then began to take things into the staircase - spoons, teapots, cups.

Then Vera climbed out from under the bed and called the fire brigade on 01. And said:

Uncles firemen, we have a fire.

Where do you live, girl?

Vera answers:

Pervomaisky lane, house 8. Near the Oktyabrskoe highway. Khysty microdistrict.

The firefighter asks a friend:

Hystoy microdistrict, what is this?

This is the eighteenth, - he answers. - We have no others.

Girl, wait for us, - said the fireman. - Let's leave!

The firefighters sang their fire-fighting anthem song and rushed into the car.

And the house became very hot. The curtains are already on fire. Grandma took Vera by the hand and drags her out of the apartment. And Vera rests on:

I won't go without Anfisa!

And Anfisa runs into the bath, takes water into her mouth and sprinkles it on the fire.

Anfisa had to show the chain. She was more afraid of this chain. Because when she was a big hooligan, she was tied to this chain for the whole day.

Then Anfisa calmed down, and she and Vera began to sit at the entrance on the windowsill.

Grandmother runs into the apartment all the time. He will come in, take a valuable thing - a saucepan or a ladle - and run out into the staircase.

And then the fire ladder drove up to the window. A fireman in a gas mask opened the window and climbed into the kitchen with a hose.

The grandmother rashly thought that it was an evil spirit, and how she would knock him with a frying pan. It's good that gas masks with a quality mark are made, and pans are made using the old method, without government acceptance. The frying pan and fell apart.

And the firefighter poured a little water on Granny from a hose to calm her down so that she would not be so hot. And he began to extinguish the fire. He quickly put it out.

Just at this time, mom and dad are returning home from school. Mom says:

Oh, it looks like someone's on fire in our house! Who has it?

Yes, it's with us! Dad shouted. - My grandmother called me!

He rather ran forward.

How is my Vera here? How is my Anfisa here? How is my grandmother here?

Thank God, everyone was safe.

Since then, dad hid matches from Vera, Anfisa and grandmother under lock and key. And the fire brigade wrote thanks in the book of gratitude in verse:

Our firefighters

The leanest!

The slimmest!

The most worthy!

The best firefighter in the world,

Any fire is not terrible for him!

The eighth story VERA AND ANFISA OPEN THE OLD DOOR

Every evening, dad and Larisa Leonidovna sat down with Anfisa at the table and watched what had accumulated in her cheek pouches during the day.

What was not there! And you have a wristwatch, and you have small bottles, and once - even a police whistle.

Dad said:

Where is the policeman himself?

He probably didn’t fit, ”Mom replied.

One day, dad and grandmother are watching, and from Anfisa a large old key sticks out. It is copper and does not fit in the mouth. Just like a mysterious old door from a fairy tale.

Dad looked and said:

I wish I could find the door to this key. There is probably an old treasure with coins behind it.

No, my mother said. - There, behind this door - old dresses, beautiful mirrors and ornaments.

Vera thought: “It would be nice if there were live old tiger cubs or puppies sitting behind this door. I wish we could live happily! "

Grandma said to mom and dad:

No matter how it is. I'm sure that behind this door are old quilted jackets and a dried bag of cockroaches.

If Anfisa were asked what is behind this door, she would say:

Five bags of coconuts.

And what else?

And one more bag.

Dad thought for a long time and decided:

Since there is a key, there must be a door.

He even put up such a notice at school in the teacher's room:

"Whoever finds the door from this key, half of what is behind this door."

Below, under the announcement, he hung the key on a string. And all the teachers read the announcement and remembered: did they not meet this very door somewhere?

The cleaning lady Maria Mikhailovna came and said:

I don't even need anything that stands behind this door for nothing.

The teachers listened:

And what is it worth there?

There are skeletons. And the rest of the nonsense.

What skeletons? - the teacher of zoology, Valentin Pavlovich, got interested. - I wrote out skeletons twice, but they don’t give me everything. You have to show the structure of a person on yourself. And my proportions are all wrong.

The other teachers listened. Verin's dad also asks:

Maria Mikhailovna, what is the rest of this nonsense?

Yes, so, - answers Maria Mikhailovna. - Some kind of globes, some kind of dragonflies with handles. Nothing interesting, not a single broom or a rag for the floor.

Then an initiative group of teachers was formed. They took the key and said:

Show us, Maria Mikhailovna, this cherished door.

Come on, - says Maria Mikhailovna.

And she took them to the old utility building, where the gym was formerly in the tsar's gymnasium. There the stairs went down to the boiler room. And up it led to the old observatory. And under the stairs is an old door.

Here is your door, - says Maria Mikhailovna.

As the door was opened, everyone gasped. What is there just not! And two skeletons are standing, waving their hands. And the stuffed wood grouse is huge, completely unworn. And some kind of instruments with arrows. And even three soccer balls.

The teachers screamed and jumped. The physics teacher, mother's friend, young Lena Egorycheva, even began to hug everyone:

Look, here is a machine for generating electrostatic electricity! Yes, there are four voltmeters here. And we in the lessons the old fashioned way of trying electricity on the tongue.

Valentin Pavlovich Vstovsky with a skeleton even danced a waltz:

These are the skeletons. With the quality seal! One even pre-revolutionary. Here it is written: “HUMAN SKELETON. Supplier of His Majesty's Court Semizhnov V.P. "

Interestingly, - says the dad, - did he supply skeletons to the yard or is it a skeleton of a supplier when it was already delivered?

Everyone began to think about this mysterious secret.

And then the manager Antonov came running excitedly. He is screaming:

I will not let it! This is good school, folk. It means - nobody's.

The teachers argued with him:

How is it nobody's, if it is popular. If it is popular, then it is ours.

If it were yours, it would have worn out and deteriorated long ago. And here it will stand in complete safety for another hundred years.

Teachers beg him to distribute all this to the offices. And he is categorically against:

I myself am a supply manager, my dad was a supply manager, and my grandfather was a school supply manager at the gymnasium. And we all saved up.

Then dad came up to him, hugged him and said:

Our dear Antonov Mitrofan Mitrofanovich! We are not asking for ourselves, for the guys. They will learn better, behave better. They will go to science. New scientists, engineers, and large supply managers will grow out of them. We will even ask you to teach them the duty to teach them in labor lessons.

For a long time already no one called the manager of Antonov Mitrofan Mitrofanovich, everyone called him simply: "Where is our manager Antonov gone?" And when he imagined how he would teach the administration, he generally melted:

Okay, take everything. For good people, nothing is a pity. Just take care of school stuff!

The teachers went in different directions, some with what: some with a skeleton, some with a dynamo machine for electrostatic electricity, some with a meter-by-meter globe.

Mitrofan Mitrofanovich came up to Vera's dad and said:

And this is a personal gift for you. Big squirrel wheel. Once upon a time at school, a bear cub lived, he tumbled in this wheel. This wheel was soldered by my grandfather. Let your Anfisa spin in it.

The Pope thanked Mitrofan Mitrofanovich very much. And he took the wheel home on a school cart. And first of all, Vera got into the wheel, of course, and then Anfisa.

Since then, it has become easier for Vera's grandmother to live. Because Vera and Anfisa did not get off the wheel. Then Vera is spinning inside, Anfisa runs on top. Or, on the contrary, Anfisa squeezes inside with crooked paws, and Vera minces on top. And then both of them dangle inside, only the rods creak.

When Valentin Pavlovich Vstovsky came to dad, he looked at all this and said:

It's a pity that I didn't have such a thing as a child. I would have been five times more athletic then. And all the proportions would be correct.

The story of the ninth LABOR DAY IN KINDERGARTEN

Previously, Vera did not like going to kindergarten. She squeaked every time:

Daddy, daddy, I'd rather sit at home. My head hurts so much that my legs don't bend!

Why are you sick with us, girl?

By death.

Here in kindergarten everything will pass, everything will be yours.

And rightly so, death passed as soon as Vera entered the kindergarten. And her legs bent, and her head passed. The most difficult thing was getting to kindergarten.

And as Anfisa appeared in the house, Vera began to walk easily to the kindergarten. And it became easy to wake up, and forgot about my death, and it was almost impossible to pick her up from kindergarten.

Oh, daddy, I'll play for another two hours!

And all because there was a very good teacher in the garden, Elizaveta Nikolaevna. She came up with something every day.

Today she told the children:

Guys, we have a very difficult day with you today. We will have labor education today. We will move bricks from place to place. Can you handle bricks?

Vera asked:

Where are the bricks?

Oh yes! - the teacher agreed. - We forgot about the bricks. Let Anfisa be a brick with us. We will transfer it. You, Anfisa, will have a study guide. That is, a brick allowance. Agree?

Anfisa does not understand what bricks are, what a textbook is. But when asked, she always says, "Uh-huh."

So, bricks can be carried on a stretcher, can be transported on a wheelbarrow. Children, Vitalik, take a small stretcher and carry Anfisa with Vera.

The children did just that. However, Anfisa was not exactly bricks. The teacher barely had time to make a remark to her:

Bricks, bricks, don't ride on a stretcher! Bricks, bricks, why did you take Vitalik's hat. Bricks, bricks, you must lie still. Here's your time! The bricks are sitting on our tree. So, now let's leave the bricks alone, we will deal with the educational paint of the building. I ask everyone to take up their brushes.

The teacher distributed brushes and buckets of paint to everyone.

Attention children! This is a training paint. That is, ordinary water. We will study to be a painter. We dipped the brush into the paint and move the brush along the wall. Anfisa, Anfisa, they didn't give you a bucket. What do you paint the fence with?

Vitalik Eliseev said:

Elizaveta Nikolaevna, she paints the fence with compote.

Where did she get it?

They put him on the window in a saucepan to cool.

Guard! - shouted the teacher. - Anfisa left the kindergarten without compote! Let's learn to do without sweets. And now we will take up the education of Anfisa. Let's analyze her behavior, analyze her personal file.

But it was not possible to disassemble the personal file, because the bees arrived.

Guard! cried Elizaveta Nikolaevna. - Bees! A whole beehive! They flew to the compote. We conduct a training session - rescue from bees in field conditions. The best way to avoid bees is by diving into the pool. We run into the pool and dive as one.

The guys ran to the pool all as one. Only Anfisa did not run. She was afraid of this pool since the last time.

The bees bit her a little. Her whole face is swollen. Anfisa climbed into the closet from the bees. Sits in the closet and cries.

Then dad came. And Elizaveta Nikolaevna returned with wet babies. Dad asked:

What do you have? Was it raining?

Yes, a biting rain of bees.

Why do you have bees flying?

But because we have someone who paints buildings with compote.

Who is it that paints the buildings with compote?

Yes, one of your good friends, such a mysterious lady-citizen named Anfisa.

And where is that mysterious lady-citizen located? Dad asked.

Most likely, she is sitting in the closet. It is there that it is located.

Dad opened the closet and saw: Anfisa was sitting and whimpering.

Oh, - says dad, - how plump she has become!

No, she's not plump, - the teacher answers. - She is bee-bitten.

I don’t know what to do, ”says dad. - Maybe give it to the zoo?

Here all the children will cry. The teacher says:

Don't cry, children, you are already wet.

Then she says to dad:

As far as I understand, our kindergarten will not part with Anfisa. If she is to the zoo, then we are to the zoo. Children, do you want to go to the zoo?

We want! - the children shouted.

Elephants and boas?

To hippos and crocodiles?

To frogs and cobras?

Do you want them to eat you, gore you, bite you?

It is very good. But to get to the zoo, you have to behave. You need to be able to wash floors, clean your bed, wash cups and spoons. So, let's start cleaning the floor.

Well, guys, - said dad to Vera and Anfisa, - let's go home.

What are you, dad, - Vera said in response. - Now only the most interesting begins. We will wash the floors.

Tenth story VERA AND ANFIS A TAKE PART IN THE PERFORMANCE "THREE MUSHKETERS"

Every school has a New Year. And at the school where Verina's dad and mom worked, he also approached.

The teachers of this school decided to make a present for the children - to prepare for them a performance based on the book of the writer Dumas "The Three Musketeers".

Dad, of course, played the main role - the musketeer D'Artanyan. He forged a sword for himself in the production workshops of the school. Grandma Larisa made him a beautiful musketeer cloak with a white cross on the back. From three old hats, he made one for himself, but very beautiful, with ostrich feathers from a rooster.

In general, dad has become a musketeer that is necessary.

Zoology teacher Valentin Pavlovich Vstovsky played the Duke of Rochefort - such a dark, unpleasant person who is in the service of Cardinal Richelieu. And Richelieu played the head teacher of the senior classes Pavlenok Boris Borisovich.

Dad and Vstovsky shouted to each other all day long: "Your sword, unfortunate!" - and fought on swords. They fought so well that two glasses in the gym were knocked out and one chair in the auditorium was practically reduced to powder. The manager Antonov, despite all his love for dad and for art, swore and got angry for about five minutes. And then he said:

I'll put in the glass. And the chair is almost impossible to glue. But you have to try.

He poured the chair into a bag and took it home to try. So he loved school furniture.

Mom, of course, played the Queen of France. Firstly, she was very beautiful. Secondly, she knew French perfectly. Thirdly, her beautiful dress has remained from the time when she was a bride. The dress is white with stars. In such only queens go, and even then not to work, but on holidays.

The head of the school, Pyotr Sergeevich Okunkov, was unanimously elected the King of France, of course. He was both personable and strict, like a real king. And the schoolchildren simply would not believe in another king.

All teachers got good roles. Everyone rehearsed and rehearsed after school. Sometimes mom and dad took Vera and Anfisa with them. They were sitting in the corner of the stage under the piano. Vera stood still, listening, and Anfisa tried to grab some of the participants by the leg.

And sometimes inconsistencies were obtained. For example, the king of France, Peter Sergeevich Okunkov, speaks in a royal voice:

Where is my faithful Minister of the Court, the Marquis de Bourville?

The courtiers, in sorrow, answer him:

He is not here. Poisoned by an enemy cutlet, he passed away a week ago.

And at this moment, the Marquis de Bourville, who is also the manager Mitrofan Mitrofanovich Antonov, in all his marquis vestments from the old school velvet curtain suddenly flops to his full height at the feet of the king. Because he was walking around the piano, and Anfisa grabbed him by the boot.

It means that he was badly poisoned, - says the stern King Louis the Sixteenth, - if he tries to disrupt the royal council for us with his awkward fall. Take him away and poison him properly!

Antonov then swears at Anfiska:

Take this zoo corner to grandma. I have no strength to endure him at school.

We would have removed, - says my mother, - but my grandmother does not have the strength to endure this corner of the house. This corner almost set the house on fire. When he is here, we are calmer.

But most of all, Anfisa was interested in royal pendants. If you remember, in "Three Musketeers" the French king gave the queen precious pendants for her birthday. Very beautiful diamond pendants. And the queen was frivolous. Instead of everything in the house, everything in the house, she presented these pendants to one Duke of Buckingham from England. She liked this duke very much. And with the king she had a cool relationship. And the harmful and insidious Duke of Richelieu - remember, Pavlenok Boris Borisovich - told the king everything. And he says:

Ask, your majesty, the queen: "Where are my pendants?" I wonder what she will tell you. There is nothing to say to her.

After that, the most important thing began. The Queen replies that the pendants are being repaired, nothing, they say, terrible. Will be soon. And the king says: “Then let them be on you. We will have a royal ball soon. Please come to the ball in these pendants. Otherwise, I might think badly of you. "

Then the queen asks D'Artagnan to ride to England to bring the pendants. He rides, brings the pendants, and everything ends well.

So Anfisa was not so much interested in the performance as in these pendants. She literally did not take her eyes off them. Anfisa has never seen anything more beautiful in her life. In its distant Africa, such pendants did not grow on trees and the locals did not wear them.

Soon the New Year is almost here. Mom and Dad began to get ready for the holiday at school. They put on smart suits and combed their hair. Dad began to attach the sword. The grandmother began to put Vera and Anfisa to bed.

Suddenly mom says:

Where are the pendants?

As where? - says the dad. - They lay near the mirror, in a box. Mom says:

There is a box, but no pendants.

So, we need to ask Anfisa, - dad decided. - Anfisa, Anfisa, come here!

And Anfisa is not going anywhere. She sits in her bed, wrapped herself in a rug. Pope took Anfisa and brought it out. I put him on a chair under the lamp.

Anfisa, open your mouth!

Anfisa is not a gugu. And he doesn't open his mouth. Dad tried to open her mouth by force. Anfisa growls.

Wow! - says the dad. - It never happened to her. Anfisa, give me the pendants, otherwise it will be worse.

Anfisa gives nothing back. Then dad took a tablespoon and began to unclench Anfisa's teeth with a tablespoon. Then Anfisa opened her mouth, and gnawed this spoon like a straw.

Wow! - says the dad. - With our Anfisa jokes are bad! What do we do?

What to do? - says mom. - We'll have to take her to school with me. We have no time.

Then Vera will scream out of bed:

And me to school! And me to school!

But you didn't eat the pendants! - says the dad.

And I can eat too, - Vera answers.

What are you teaching your child! - Mom is indignant. - Okay, daughter, get dressed quickly. We run to school for the New Year.

Granny says:

You are completely crazy! Children outside at night in winter! And even to school, to the auditorium.

Dad said to this:

And you, Larisa Leonidovna, instead of grumbling, it would be better to get ready too. The whole family will go to school.

The grandmother did not stop grumbling, but began to get ready.

And take the pot with you?

What kind of pot? Dad shouts. - What, at school toilets, or what, no, that we start to carry pots with us?

In general, half an hour before the start of the performance, dad, mom and everyone else came to school. Director Pyotr Sergeevich Ludovik Sixteenth swears:

Are you taking so long? We are worried about you.

And the head teacher of the senior classes Boris Borisovich Richelieu commands:

Let the children go to the teacher's room, and go to the stage yourself! We'll do the last rehearsal.

The grandmother took the children and animals to the teacher's room. There were all kinds of suits and coats lying on the sofas. She stuffed Vera and Anfisa into these suits.

Sleep for now. When the fun comes up, they will wake you up.

And Vera and Anfisa fell asleep.

The audience soon gathered. The music sounded and the performance began. The teachers played just fine. Musketeers guarded the king. And they saved everyone. They were brave and kind. Cardinal Richelieu's guards acted in every possible way, arrested everyone in a row and threw them behind bars.

The Pope fought all the time with the Duke of Rochefort Wstowski. Even sparks flew from their swords. - And dad mostly won. Richelieu's affairs went from bad to worse. And then Richelieu learned about the pendants. My lady told him about it - such a harmful woman, the head teacher of the lower grades Serafima Andreevna Zhdanova.

And then Richelieu comes up to the king and says: - Ask, your majesty, the queen: "Where are my pendants?" What will she tell you? She has nothing to say.

The Queen really has nothing to say. She immediately calls Pope D'Artagnan and asks:

Ah, my dear D'Artagnan! Hurry up straight to England and bring me these pendants. Otherwise, I was lost.

D'Artanyan replies:

I won't let that happen! And all the other musketeers will not allow it! Wait for me and I'll be back!

He ran behind the curtain, jumped on his horse and galloped straight into the teacher's room. There he grabbed Anfiska by the collar - and again on stage. And on the stage is the palace of the Duke of Buckingham. Rich curtains, candles, crystal brought from home. And the duke walks sad, sad.

D'Artanyan asks him:

Why are you so sad, Duke? What happened?

The Duke replies:

Yes, I had diamond pendants of the French queen, but they disappeared somewhere. D'Artanyan says:

I know these pendants. I just came for them. Only you, Duke, do not be sad. Your favorite monkey stuffed these pendants into his mouth. I saw it myself. Or rather, your footmen told me about it.

Where is the monkey? the duke asks.

The monkey is sitting on your desk, eating a candle.

The duke turned around, grabbed the monkey and gives it to D'Artagnan:

Dear Musketeer, give these pendants along with the monkey to my beloved French queen. For her, two gifts will turn out at once.

What is the name of this monkey? - asks the famous musketeer.

She has such a beautiful French name - Anfison!

Oh, I think Anfison will really like our queen. She loves animals so much.

Pope grabbed Anfison and rode to France. And there the royal ball is already in full swing. The Queen walks so alarmed - there are no pendants and cannot be seen. The Duke of Richelieu walks contentedly, rubbing his hands. And the king asks all the time:

So where are the pendants, honey? Something I do not see them.

They'll bring it in now, '' the queen answers, and she keeps looking at the door.

And then D'Artanyan galloped up:

Here are your favorite pendants, queen. Your maid sent them to you together with the monkey Anfison.

And why?

The monkey stuffed them into his mouth and does not want to part with them.

The queen holds out the monkey to the king:

Your Majesty, here is Anfison with pendants. Get it if you don't believe it.

And Anfison growls like two barbossons. Doesn't want to part with pendants. The king then says:

I believe, but Richelieu doubts. Let him check.

Narrated by Anfison Richelieu. Only Richelieu is cunning. He ordered to bring one kilogram of nuts on a tray of nuts and a couple of lighters. When Anfison saw these riches, she took out the pendants from her mouth and began to stuff the nuts.

Richelieu took the slobbering pendants with two fingers, looked at the light and said:

They! Yours took, gentlemen musketeers. But we'll meet again twenty years later.

Then the curtain fell. The success was deafening. There was such a noise that even Vera woke up in the staff room:

What, the most interesting thing has begun?

And the most interesting thing is over. But all the same, Vera got a lot of interesting things. Both schoolchildren and teachers gave her many gifts. She danced around the tree with the guys. And Anfisa sat on this tree, licking Christmas decorations.

The eleventh story VERA AND ANFISA PARTICIPATE IN THE EXHIBITION OF CHILDREN'S DRAWING

Once in all schools there was a message that children's drawings were needed. That there will soon be a regional exhibition of children's drawings. And then the city-wide, and then the Moscow one.

And already from Moscow, the best drawings will go to an exhibition of children's drawings in Rio de Janeiro.

All the guys were given full freedom - draw whatever you want: coal, oil paints, pencils, embroider. And on what you want: on paper, on canvas, on wood. Only the theme of all drawings should be the same: "Why do I love my native school."

And in each class, drawing lessons were held on this topic. And those who did not have time in the lesson could go to a special class for drawing and work there for real.

All the guys in the school sketched. The older guys drew more with charcoal or pencils. The kids painted only with oil. The younger the guys were, the more confidently they took up work, they immediately created masterpieces.

These are the pictures that were born a week later. Pasha Gutiontov, when he learned the topic, immediately drew a dining room and ruddy pies. The picture turned out to be very good, delicious, having nothing to do with studies.

Lena Loginova drew the following picture: thin-legged loaders are carrying something that looks like a mixture of a concert grand piano with a TV.

The head teacher Serafima Andreevna asked:

What's your drawing called?

Very simple. "The computer was brought."

Is a computer like that? Serafima Andreevna asked. “It's as flat as a typewriter.

Lena said:

And I thought it was huge. Since they talk so much about him. - And yet there were not enough drawings of the kids. Therefore, two junior classes were gathered in a drawing class, they were given a choice of what to draw and what to draw on, and they said:

Draw, create. Glorify your native school and the Ministry of Education.

Verin's dad taught this lesson. He brought Vera and Anfisa with him. Because it was on Saturday when the kindergarten was closed.

Vera took colored pencils and large paper and began to draw on the floor.

Vera, Vera, why are you drawing on the floor?

And it's more convenient. You can draw from all sides.

Oh, how interesting it is in the drawing class! Children sit at tables and easels and draw, paint, paint.

Whoever has a bright nature turns out, mainly autumn. Autumn is the easiest to draw, painfully colorful - you can't confuse it with any other weather. Some have Cheburashka with flowers, some have only flowers without Cheburashka. Who has a lopsided rocket in space in the picture.

Vitalik, Vitalik, why are you drawing a rocket? It is necessary to draw "For what I love my native school"!

Vitalik Pryakhin answers:

But what, I will fly straight from school into space!

And you, Vika Eliseeva, why did you draw a cow in the meadow? Does this have to do with school?

Of course it does. We recently passed this cow. This cow is called Pets.

And who is this round grazing nearby? Is this a frying pan?

No. This is my duck grazing.

Very good yellow duck. Why does she have four legs?

Vika thought:

How much?

Probably two.

And I have two ducks. Only one stands behind the other.

Dad approached Vera:

And you, daughter, what are you drawing?

- "My dad is taking the kids to the zoo."

Draw, draw, girl.

And what did Anfisa do? She pulled off the largest brush. Then she stole a tube of purple paint from one boy. And I began to taste paint on my tongue.

The paint was not tasty. And Anfisa spat on her easel for a long time. She has such purple stars on a white background. When the purple paint ran out, Anfisa whistled red. This time she was already smarter. She squeezed out red paint on a brush, as all the guys did.

And wow, then a big fly flew into the classroom, disgusting. And she sat down right on the paper to Anfisa. Anfisa will crack on her with a brush. She immediately had a red sun with rays in the picture. Bright, free, and a fly flew to another easel.

"Oh so, - thinks Anfisa, - I'll show you!"

And again, hit the fly! And the boy, on whose easel the fly sat down, was not at all going to draw the sun. On the contrary, he painted "I go to school on a winter day." And suddenly, half of a winter day, the hot sun lit up.

The boy will be so upset. How to cry. And let's fly the fly from place to place. Anfisa, let's beat this fly. Wherever the fly lands, Anfisa clap with her brush! Sits on a boy - Anfisa clap, on a girl sits - Anfisa clap! Then the fly sat on dad, Anfisa and dad pop!

Soon all the children in the drawing class were marked with red paint like chickens in a suburban-style suburban village.

In short, everyone rushed at Anfisa, grabbed her hands, feet and tied her to the easel by a string. Because of nothing to do, Anfisa began to draw more seriously. And she painted green grass, and some ants with suitcases, and a cutaway cucumber. And I also drew and painted with a brush, splashing, and hands.

And what about you, Vera, coming out? Dad asked.

Zoo.

Dad looks. Big-headed children are walking on thin matches. And around there are various frightened predators in cages: tigers there, striped carrot-colored lions. And the elephant is small, small in the upper corner.

Why is the elephant so tiny? Is he a dwarf?

No. He's ordinary. It's just a long way to go.

Dad collected all the guys' drawings and put them in a large folder for papers. He took the last drawing from Anfisa.

How do we call him, Anfisa?

Ooh! - Anfisa answers.

Dad looked at the drawing carefully, saw there above the earth between the stars and the sun a palm was drawn by a very thin hand. And daddy said:

We will call this drawing "The kind hand of the teacher."

And he also put the drawing in a folder.

Here our story about Vera and Anfisa comes to an end. There were many, many more adventures with them. You can't tell everything. But if you really want, you write me a letter, then I will tell you something else. Because I am very friendly with their dad, Vladimir Fedorovich. In the meantime, I want to tell you how this last story about the children's drawing competition ended.

All the drawings from the school were sent first to the district exhibition, then the best drawings from the district went to the city exhibition.

Both the city and regional exhibitions were a success. People walked around, looked at everything and said:

Oh, what a beautiful rocket!

Oh, what a beautiful cow!

Oh, what a beautiful duck on four legs!

But most of all admired the bright and cheerful picture "The Good Hand of the Teacher".

Here is a drawing! Everything is on it: the sun, stars, grass, and children with suitcases.

And the teacher with his hand calls the children to the bright sun.

See. He even calls them to the light at night.

Although Anfisa did not call anyone anywhere, she just wanted to swat the fly and spat with a tasteless paint.

And then the drawings went abroad, to the hot city of Rio de Janeiro. And there, too, "The Good Hand of the Teacher" made a good impression. Everyone celebrated and praised her. And the chief organizing artist said:

I really like this hand. I would even take it with pleasure. I believe this hand deserves first prize.

But other dispensational artists argued. They said that the author was carried away by symbolism, fell under the influence of the Impressionists and increased the range of light too much in a contrasting manner. Although Anfisa was not fond of anything like that, she did not fall under anything and did not enhance anything at all in a contrasting manner. She just chased a fly and spat out the paint that was tasteless.

As a result of all the controversy, she was given the third honorary place. And her drawing won the "Crystal Vase with Color Vase" prize.

Soon this vase arrived in Moscow, and from Moscow to Anfisin city. On the vase is the signature “Anfison Matthew. THE USSR". And this vase was brought to school. They gathered all the young artists and announced:

Guys! We had a great joy. Our drawing "Teacher's Hand" took third place in the international exhibition in Rio de Janeiro. The author of this picture is Anfison Matfeef!

The headmaster of the school, Pyotr Sergeevich, said:

I didn't even know that we had such a student. I ask this worthy young man to go on stage.

But no one came on the stage, because there was no such worthy young man Anfison Matfeyf, but there was a monkey Anfiska.

And Verin's dad confessed everything, how he sent Anfisa's drawing together with children's drawings to the exhibition. And then the director said:

This means that our drawing school is very good, if even monkeys here draw no worse than foreign students. And let's clap our Anfisa and give her the crystal vase deservedly. And let's fill it with delicious and interesting things. Take out of your pockets what anyone has.

Read the adventures of the girl of faith and the monkey Anfisa. Eduard Nikolaevich Uspensky About the girl Vera and the monkey Anfisa

ABOUT FAITH AND ANFIS

First story WHERE ANFISA COME FROM

Second story FIRST TIME TO KINDERGARTEN

First story
WHERE ANFISA COME FROM

Second story
FIRST TIME TO KINDERGARTEN